


Owning my mistakes

by spikewil



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 03:17:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2176047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikewil/pseuds/spikewil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and need to trust the father again</p>
            </blockquote>





	Owning my mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina: Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.  
> A/N 2: Angel season 5. I took the scene where Harmony and Spike get it on and twisted it. Also I changed the possession part about the scene.  
> A/N 3: Gunn never turned into a lawyer, but stayed a demon hunter.

***Day 1***

"You've got mail," Harmony said, holding up a package to Spike.

"What?" Spike asked surprised.

"It's addressed to you, care of here," Harmony answered.

"Who the hell'd be sending post to a...," Spike grumbled.

"Ghost? Doesn't say. Kind of heavy. Here," Harmony answered and gave Spike the package.

Spike held up his incorporeal hands, gesturing for Harmony to open it.

"Oh. You want me to...," Harmony responded.

"If you don't mind," Spike said, frustrated at not being able to do the simplest things.

Harmony took a letter opener and sliced through the package tape. Upon opening, a flash of bright white light was released from the package. Harmony blinked dramatically, then looked at Spike.

"Well, that was a slap and a tickle," Spike sarcastically said.

"There's nothing...," Harmony said, peering into the package, but was interrupted by the telephone ringing.

"Any more fireworks for me, I'll be in here telling your boss what a miserable bastard...," Spike said while walking towards Angel's office. Instead of walking through it as usual, he bumped against the door hard, which left him sprawled on the floor. Gobsmacked, he looked up at Angel, who had opened his office door to check what had thumped loudly against it. Realization suddenly dawned upon him. "Hold on...," Spike stood up and started touching Angel's chest. "Hey, I can feel," Spike stated excitedly.

"Hey. Stop touching me," Angel said, pushing Spike's hands away from his body.

It was then that Spike became aware of another familiar sensation. He licked his upper lip only to discover his nose had bled a bit from his run-in with the door. "Mmm! I can...," Spike mumbled and grabbed the mug from Angel's hand, gobbling down the blood it contained.

"Hey!" Angel exclaimed, getting angrier every passing minute. His Grandchilde was back to his old self and would soon be able to make his unlife a living hell again. 

"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Oh god, it's bloody ambrosia. Is this otter?" Spike said while looking into the mug and giving it back to Angel.

Meanwhile, Gunn had heard the commotion and walked towards the vampires. He could see the beautiful blond vampire drinking blood from Angel's favourite mug. "Hey, what's going..."

"I'm back, Charlie boy! That's what's going on!" Spike answered happily and hugged the other man enthusiastically. That was when he was greeted by another sensation he had missed in his incorporeal state. A great wave of pheromones poured off the hunter, betraying Gunn's arousal in his presence. Spike was shocked and aroused at this unexpected revelation. He had never noticed the hunter was attracted to men before. 

"Really? Excuse me, Angel. I have to borrow your Grandchilde for a few hours," Gunn told the older vampire. He took Spike's hand and dragged the unresisting vampire with him through the halls of the firm.

"This office empty? Good!" Gunn didn't wait for an answer and just pushed the employee out of one of the offices and locked the door. He then turned around and leered at the cocky vampire. "Undress!" he ordered.

"Bloody hell NO!" Spike replied, angry at being ordered around like a fledgling. He wasn't Angelus' butt boy anymore, he was a Master vampire now. Like hell was this man going to put him in that position again!

Gunn sneered, grabbed Spike and whirled the vampire around, pressing him against the wall. Spike struggled and found out that the young black human was strangely stronger than himself.

"LET ME GO!" Spike ordered, surprised at the young man's strength.

"NO! We will have you," Gunn said in a misformed voice.

Spike knew immediately that this couldn't be Gunn. "NO!" Spike screamed when the man pulled his duster off and ripped away his jeans and shirt, leaving the vampire naked. Spike tried to kick the creature that was using Gunn's body but it had placed a spell on Spike, which made him stand paralyzed and legs spread wide against the wall.

Spike tried to see if his voice still worked. "Who are you?" he demanded to know.

"We're the Ancient," it said before slamming Gunn's large hard cock inside Spike's unprepared hole.

Spike howled out his pain, as he was taken dry. He kept trying to move away from the pain, but his body remained frozen. He cried and pleaded for help, hoping someone would hear him as the Ancient continued pounding into him, tearing and hurting his body and his soul.

 

*****

 

Angel was still in shock. Gunn had taken his Grandchilde with him. Although he knew the hunter loved Spike, Gunn had been successful in hiding his feelings towards Spike so far. The rest of their team had no idea about his infatuation but pheromones were hard to cover up. Angel and Harmony had smelled them on numerous occasions, whenever Spike was around. However, Spike's ghostly state made him unable to sense these things. He wondered how Spike was dealing with this revelation.

Harmony and Angel frowned when they heard Spike howling. Instead of Spike's howling of pleasure they both knew so well, they recognized it as a scream of pain. They ran towards the sound and found themselves in front of an office. Both vamps could hear Spike's pleading and broke down the door.

Harmony froze at the sight of Gunn raping Spike, but Angel stormed forward and pulled Gunn off the crying vampire. He hurled the man across the room, knocking him out when the man hit his head on the desk. At that precise moment, the paralyzing spell was broken and Spike slumped down the wall onto the floor, wincing in pain.

Both Harmony and Angel ran towards Spike, who was curling himself into a small ball. Harmony tried to touch her ex lover but the blond vamp shrunk away, not willing to allow any physical contact.

Fred had followed Angel and Harmony when she saw them running hurriedly across the halls, calling for Spike. She watched how Harmony and Angel carried an unconscious Gunn into the lab and heard Angel ordering to put him in the special aisle where the other possessed employees were laying restraint.

She approached Spike carefully and could see he was bleeding. Considering the type of his injuries, his nakedness and his current refusal to be touched, it didn't take long for Fred to come to the conclusion that the handsome vampire had been raped. Shocked at the thought that her friend Charles seemed to have been responsible for this horrible incident, Fred kneeled next to Spike.

"Spike, let Angel take care of you. You need his help." Fred said in a soothing voice, trying to reassure the shaken vampire. No reaction from Spike prompted Fred to continue. "I bet you want to get clean. I can tell him you want to take a bath," she suggested.

Assured that Gunn would be properly restrained and taken care of, Angel went back to the office where he had found Spike. He was entering the office when he heard Fred's words. He saw Spike open his eyes, searching the room for the older vampire until they locked eyes. Spike silently pleaded for Angel to take him away from this room.

Angel looked at his Grandchilde, he had never seen him so vulnerable. He stepped towards Spike and picked him up. Fred stepped back and watched Angel carrying the still naked younger vampire to his bedroom. She picked Spike's prized duster off the floor and placed it quickly on the naked vampire before Angel left the office.

Angel carried Spike to his bedroom, placed him on the large double bed and walked into the bathroom where he prepared a hot bath. When he walked back into his bedroom, he saw his once proud Grandchilde shivering on the bed and staring at the door.

"Angel, is the Ancient gone?" Spike asked in a shaky voice. 

"Don't worry about him, Gunn is lying restraint in the lab," Angel answered softly. "Spike? I've prepared a bath for you," Angel said, walking towards Spike. He gently guided the shaken vampire into the bathroom and showed him that no one else was in the room.

"You can leave now," Spike said; he wanted to be left alone. He felt dirty and ashamed, he didn't want his Grandsire to see how badly hurt he really was.

Angel was very suspicious when Spike told him to leave, but he nodded and decided to give Spike his privacy. "I will check on Gunn. I'll lock the bedroom door so no one but me can come in," Angel said before leaving Spike alone in the bathroom.

Spike closed the bathroom door and sank into the hot water, wincing at the pain radiating from his violated anus. He took the washcloth, soaped it and scrubbed his body firmly.

 

*****

 

Angel stepped into the lab and watched how Gunn's eyes had turned red. Apparently, Gunn had been possessed by some sort of demon. It was sneering at Fred and Angel, taunting them. "I was finished before you knocked this human body out," it said triumphantly.

Angel ignored the demon's provocative tone and he took the young scientist to a discreet area of the lab, a small-soundproofed room where they could observe patients without being seen. "Fred, what do you know about this demon?" Angel asked curiously.

"Well, we've found out that we're witnessing an unusual case of animal possession. Floraks use demons and humans in order to get pleasure. Unfortunately, they also make their victims fertile. In most cases, their victims end up having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy," Fred explained what she had found out so far.

"So it's possible that Gunn has made Spike pregnant?" Angel questioned. 

Fred nodded.

"Oh god!" Angel exclaimed, before running back to his bedroom.

 

****

 

Although Spike had been scrubbing his body until his skin was red and raw, the worst was yet to come. He kneeled down in the tub and tried to reach behind him. But the soreness of his muscles made it difficult to reach his anus. He cried out frustrated.

Angel had hurried back to his room after Fred's unexpected revelation and heard Spike's groans of pain. Afraid that the vampire was being hurt again, he broke down the door. "Spike?" Angel shouted, barging into the bathroom.

Angel was shocked by his Grandchilde's body; the skin was red and raw. Spike's position and the tears rolling down his sharp cheekbones told Angel all he needed to know. The older vampire kneeled next to the tub and took the cloth from Spike's hand and cleaned the anus quickly but thoroughly.

"You're clean!" Angel announced, before picking up the younger vamp without a warning. He dried his Grandchilde and carried him into the bedroom. He dressed the shivering vamp in pajamas and gently placed him under the sheets. Spike curled up immediately.

"Don't leave!" Spike cried out when he felt Angel about to stand, afraid his Grandsire would leave.

Angel sighed. His demon was screaming at him. It wanted to kill Gunn, but he knew he couldn't blame the hunter for the demonic possession. He phoned Harmony and ordered four pints of blood. "Let Gunn bring them," he said when Harmony informed him that Fred had smashed a red ruby and the Ancient had been successfully eliminated. All his victims were back to normal. 

 

*****

 

Gunn was surprised to hear from Harmony that Angel had asked him to bring the blood for the young vampire. He hadn't thought Angel would let him near Spike ever again. Though he had been awake during the entire rape, he hadn't been able to control his body and stop the demon from ruining the budding friendship he had with Spike. 

Angel saw Gunn hesitating at the entrance and he beckoned the man inside. The black young man handed the blood to Angel, averting his eyes. He kneeled in front of the bed and stared at the broken vampire. Paler than usual, full of red spots of raw skin where Spike had scrubbed his scent away, curled up in a fetal position, Spike was still a beautiful man to behold. Gunn wanted to hold the vampire in his arms and comfort him but he knew that he had no right to do that.

Angel looked at Gunn, clearly in pain for what had happened. He was also aware that Spike was awake since the hunter had entered the room. He was feigning to sleep. Angel decided to take the chance and try to mend things between the two men.

"The demon used you, Gunn. He raped you too in a sense," Angel started. 

Gunn could no longer hold in his tears. "I know it used me, Angel, but it acted on my crush on Spike. I love him, you know I do. But after this, how is he ever going to trust me again? Gunn cried softly. He reached out to touch Spike's face but stopped and pulled back.

"Gunn, why don't you go to your room and try to get some sleep," Angel instructed, pleased that Gunn had admitted his feelings without having to prompt any further. "You'll have to work this out together. I need to tell you both something, but it can wait until the morning," Angel stated, knowing the morning would come in a few hours. A few more hours wouldn't harm Spike.

Spike opened his eyes as soon as Gunn left Angel's apartment. He looked at his Grandsire, confused about the conversation he had been listening to. "If he loved me, how could he do this to me?"

"It wasn't Gunn, Spike. He wasn't in control of his body, remember? If he were, he wouldn't have raped you," Angel answered the best he could.

"This is payback from Buffy, isn't it? Buffy did this! I hurt her and now she used something to hurt me. But I stopped!" Spike mumbled to himself.

Angel heard every word of it and recalled the phone call from Xander more than a year ago. Xander had told him that Spike had raped Buffy. He had roared in anger at his Grandchilde's actions. But then he remembered Xander had always been jealous of his and Spike's presence around Buffy. 

So he had called Buffy and she explained the incident in her own words. He was shocked to learn how Buffy had used his Grandchilde to deal with her pain for being brought back from Heaven. He didn't tell her that he didn't blame Spike for what he had done. Spike's actions were the typical vampire way to make someone he loves admit that she loves him as well. Plus, Spike had stopped in time.

Spike fell asleep, still curled under the blanket. Angel decided it was best to watch Spike just in case the vampire felt distressed or self-destructive. He made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed and fell asleep.

 

*****

 

Spike was trapped in his nightmare. He was raping Buffy again, he heard her voice, telling him to stop, but he couldn't. He had to show her that she loved him. Only Buffy turned tables, he was pushed against the bathroom wall with force. His pants were ripped off, leaving him naked. He tried to struggle but he couldn't move. "Please, let me go!" he begged.

"Why? You're the one who wanted this. So why do you want to stop now?" Buffy sneered.

Spike felt her pushing her fist inside him. All of a sudden, Buffy turned into Gunn. He started screaming.

Angel woke up startled by something that had hit him on the chest. When he opened his eyes, he could see Spike's arms flailing in the air. He sat up immediately and held Spike against him. Angel couldn't do anything but whisper soothing words in Spike's ear while purring.

Spike heard the familiar purr and he followed the sound in his dream until it got louder and recognized the words being whispered in his ear. "Angel?"

"Yes, Spike. It's me. You were having a bad dream," Angel whispered.

"Gunn hurt me!" Spike stated softly.

"No, he didn't. The Ancient hurt you using Gunn's body. Gunn is a victim, just like you," Angel explained.

"He got hurt too?" Spike asked.

"I knocked him out. He had a gash on his head," Angel responded.

"You hurt Gunn? I like him," Spike suddenly mentioned.

Angel chuckled. "You were hurt and you've just had a nightmare. And now you're telling me you like him?" Angel asked stunned.

"It wasn't him, you said so yourself. I know I have to learn to trust him again, but I like him," Spike whined.

"You're a special vamp, Spike. Well, if you really like him, you won't mind knowing that Gunn is coming in about an hour. There's something we need to talk about," Angel said, preparing Spike for a meeting with Gunn.

"He's coming? Really?" Spike asked, strangely enthusiastic.

"Spike, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this after being raped?" Angel asked angrily, not understanding Spike's attitude.

"I know it's strange. It's like peace came over me. I'm all calm and I want Gunn to be here," Spike answered, closing his eyes again.

Angel looked at his Grandchilde and sighed deeply. This might have something to do with the possible pregnancy. He would just have to ask Lorak, his doctor. He had already called the man when Spike was hurt and cleaning himself. The man hadn't been able to come sooner, because of his other patients.

He stood up, disentangled himself from Spike and walked to the table in the living room. He picked up the phone to call Gunn. It was time to meet.

 

Title: Owning my mistakes 2a/18  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
Warning: mentions of the rape  
Spoilers: Season 5, episode Destiny.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina: Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.  
A/N 2: Angel season 5. I took the scene where Harmony and Spike get it on. I twisted it.   
A/N 3: Cordelia never went evil and still lives, Connor doesn’t exist and Gunn never turned into a lawyer.

Beta’d by: my lovely and precious Error! Contact not defined..

 

***Day 2***

 

“Spike, I have to leave for a few moments. I will be back after that, okay?” Angel told the dozy vampire.

“Okay, will you take long? Will you bring Gunn?” Spike asked curiously.

“I will send Gunn this way and then I will come back with the doctor,” Angel answered and left the room.

On his way to Lorak, he ran into Gunn. The young man was nervously pacing around the lobby, waiting for Angel to appear.

“Can I see him? Is he okay?” Gunn asked curiously.

“Yes, you can see him. He knows you’re coming,” Angel answered and watched how Gunn ran towards his place. Angel frowned, something strange was happening. The older vampire walked to the infirmary to get Lorak, deep in thought.

 

*****

 

Gunn knocked on the door and it was opened before he was done knocking. “Hey,” Gunn greeted softly when he spotted Spike in the doorway, still dressed in Angel’s black silk pyjamas.

“Hey, come in,” Spike said and let Gunn enter Angel’s apartment.

“How have you slept?” Gunn asked softly.

“Well enough, considering the things that happened,” Spike said, fidgeting.

“No nightmares?” Gunn asked curiously. He had been plagued by nightmares until he decided to leave his apartment. Wandering through the halls, he had ended up sitting near Angel’s door, trying to eavesdrop on Angel and Spike. “Because I had.”

“Yeah, I had a nightmare, but Angel made it go away,” Spike answered carefully. He didn’t know how Gunn would react to Angel’s renewed care for this Grandchilde. It had been so long since Spike had been the object of such care, he didn’t want to lose it again.

“Spike, may I see?” Gunn whispered, pointing awkwardly at Spike’s chest.

Spike stood still and hesitated before taking off his pyjama jacket. Gunn gasped at the sight of the bruises. He slowly made his way to Spike who was looking at his feet. He reached out and gently touched the places where he had hurt the vampire. “I’m sorry for hurting you,” Gunn cried out softly, still finding it hard to accept that he had hurt his friend and once secret crush.

Spike looked up, surprised to see Gunn crying again. The young man kept surprising him, he had never expected to see this sensitive side to the strong demon hunter before. He stepped backwards; he didn’t want to feel Gunn’s hands on his bruises anymore. It made him feel scared. “I’ll be right back,” he said before walking towards the bathroom. He wanted to close the door but noticed only then that Angel had broken it last night.

Gunn sat in the living room waiting for Spike to come back. He was facing away from the bedroom so he could give Spike some privacy.

 

*****

 

In the bathroom, Spike had undressed himself completely and was staring down at the bruises on his body. Spike was unable to conceal a sob at the remembrance of how they had been made and before he knew it Gunn was holding him.

“I’m sorry!” Gunn repeated the words over and over again, holding the naked vampire tightly in his arms. He had heard the sob and couldn’t stop himself from walking into the bathroom and taking the vamp in his arms to comfort him.

“It bloody hurts!” Spike cried, tears falling down his cheeks, soaking Gunn’s shirt.

“We will deal with this. We won’t let the Ancient win,” Gunn stated, sounding confident of himself.

Spike nodded and wiped away his tears. “They bloody won’t win!” he announced d in his cocky voice although he didn’t feel cocky.

“Let’s get you cleaned and dressed before Angel comes back,” Gunn suggested and stepped back. He wanted to help Spike but the vampire was nervous whenever Gunn touched him on certain places.

 

*****

 

Angel and Lorak entered Angel’s apartment and spotted Spike and Gunn sitting closely on the couch and talking. The older vampire looked at his Grandchilde and knew immediately he had been crying by the teartracks of Spike’s cheeks. He also noticed Gunn was holding one of Spike’s hands.

“Hello Spike, Gunn. My name is Lorak,” the doctor introduced himself.  
“How are you feeling, Spike?”

“M’fine!” Spike answered shyly, not looking at Gunn who couldn’t stop smiling. The man was pleased to be able to touch the vampire, without making Spike all tense and nervous.

“I need to tell you something about the Ancient!” Angel said bluntly. Not knowing how else to begin, he had decided that being direct was the best solution. 

“What?” Spike asked scared, not liking the way his Grandsire was acting. 

“Wesley and Fred have been researching the Ancient and previous cases of possessions. Apparently, to be able to possess its victims, either people or demons, it has to make their bodies fertile,” Angel started.

Silence.

Spike and Gunn sat on the couch, not knowing what to say. All of a sudden, Gunn realized that Angel’s explanation could only mean one thing.

“Spike could be pregnant?” Gunn asked Angel. He was shocked; males couldn’t get pregnant. Right?

“But how? I’m a male vampire. How would the baby develop or eat?” Spike asked, as much shocked as Gunn. If possible, he could have a baby. Gunn’s baby! Spike looked at Gunn and realized that it was possible they were going to be daddies. Strangely, he was actually getting more and more excited at the thought of having a child rather than being afraid.

Gunn didn’t know what to think, the only thing that sprang to his mind was that he wanted to take care of Spike and their baby. 

“How can you tell for sure if Spike’s pregnant?” Gunn asked curiously.

Spike looked at Gunn and saw that the man wasn’t disgusted with him. “I’m not dirty?” Spike asked in a small voice.

Both Gunn and Angel were surprised at this question. “No, you’re not! You’re beautiful and we’re going to be daddies,” Gunn answered back, trying to reassure the young vampire who had tensed up again at his own question.

“If I’m pregnant, will you help me?” Spike asked shyly albeit more relaxed. It was still hard to believe Gunn had said he was beautiful. He couldn’t even let the man touch him in certain places without tensing up again.

“Yes, I will. Whatever happens, I want to help you,” Gunn answered in a steady voice, trying not to betray his deep feelings and concern for the vampire. He didn’t want to frighten Spike, but he wanted to do more than just help.

 

***Two hours later, Angel’s office*** 

Lorne had arrived to read Gunn and Spike’s auras in case The PTB had something to do with it. He was currently sitting on Angel’s desk, observing the new couple while daydreaming about undressing Angel’s shirt and caressing his broad naked chest. It was a good thing he was able to mask his own scent, being near Angel whenever he was licking his dry lips with the tip of his tongue always made him hard. The vampire was clearly worried about Spike’s welfare.

Gunn and Spike were waiting for the doctor to start his examination. Spike was nervous, he had thrown up an hour ago and his nipples were getting sensitive to the touch. His instincts told him his body was already changing to accommodate a baby. Nevertheless, Spike looked cockily at the doctor. “So, doc, am I bloody pregnant?”

“Why don’t you lie down on Angel’s couch and let me see?” Lorak replied sharply.

Spike backed off at the sharpness in the doctor’s voice immediately. Gunn placed a hand on Spike’s shoulder for comfort. He needed to touch Spike just to make sure he was still there.

Lorak chanted a few words and within seconds everyone saw a green dot on Spike’s belly. “Yes, Spike. You’re pregnant. But this won’t be a normal pregnancy,” Lorak said fascinated. “See how big the dot already is? In human terms you’re 4 weeks pregnant instead of two days,” Lorak continued, not seeing the shocked looks he received at the news. “That means one day is two weeks. A pregnancy is 36 weeks, which means your pregnancy is going to be 18 days. You have to hurry up preparing the baby room,” Lorak tried to joke, but his smile vanished when he saw the shocked looks on their faces.

“My lover is having a baby in 18 days?” Gunn asked stunned, not seeing the dreamy look on Spike’s face at the word lover.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Lorak answered.

“Is the baby human or a vampire?” Angel asked curiously.

“I can only see that on the 6th day,” Lorak replied.

“Where’s it going to come out?” Spike demanded sharply and blanched when Lorak looked below his waist. “But that’s going to bloody hurt!” Spike whined.

Gunn held one of Spike’s hands between his, caressing it softly. The vampire had straightened up after the spell wore off and seemed to be in need of some support. Spike looked at Gunn, as if asking for permission, and leaned against his chest. Glad to see Spike more comfortable around him, Gunn put his arm around the vampire and held him closely

“Bugger! I’m going to be a mommy! I wanted to be a daddy!” Spike whined, having already accepted that he and Gunn were going to become parents.

“Who said you have to be a mommy? I could be a mommy too, you know? Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean…” Gunn suggested, trying to comfort the distressed vampire. However, his voice trailed off the moment he saw Spike was smirking. He had been fooled by the manipulative blonde.

“Good, then I’m the daddy!” Spike announced smiling. His smile quickly turned into loud giggles as Gunn tickled his sides as payback for his little performance.

Gunn stopped tickling when Spike suddenly stood up and ran towards the dustbin that was standing under Angel’s desk. He heard the sound of vomiting and stood up to comfort his lover. Gunn gave him his handkerchief to clean his mouth and called Harmony to bring Spike a glass of fresh water. 

Spike sighed and hoped this part of the pregnancy would soon be over.  
“Wait a minute...18 DAYS! Did you really say 18 days?” Spike suddenly cried out when that part of the doctor’s speech finally sank in.

“Yes,” Lorak answered calmly. He had been waiting for Spike to notice that part of his explanation. 

“Gunn, we only have 18 bloody days to prepare the baby room, we need to buy stuff and clothes and and…” Spike ranted.

“Calm down, Spike. We need to do a lot of things. But I’m sure the doctor can tell us what needs to be done, perhaps giving us a list,” Gunn said calmly, while inside he wasn’t feeling calm at all. In fact, he was feeling so overwhelmed by the revelations that Gunn needed something to ground him. He needed Spike. Before the vampire could walk away, Gunn was kissing him tenderly. A kiss that hadn’t happened before or after the rape. 

 

Although he had been caught off guard, Spike kissed back and couldn’t stop himself from moaning. In spite of knowing that this was the man who had raped him, Spike didn’t think about the Ancient’s attack that had kept him awake all night after his nightmare. Gunn’s touch was like a balm; he wanted to be touched by the man and he felt his cock stir.

Before the kiss could deepen, they heard someone clear their throats. They ended the kiss and turned to see Lorak and Lorne watching them with smiles on their faces. Angel, however, looked like he was brooding.

“Stop brooding, Peaches!” Spike said to his Grandsire.

Angel smiled at the exclamation. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not brooding, Spike. Lorak, this morning Spike told me that although he was hurt he felt calm and peaceful. Does that have something to do with the pregnancy?”

“It could be, but we need to know more about this baby, if you want me to answer that,” Lorak answered.

Angel accepted that answer and watched the couple, still embraced and looking into each other’s eyes. He knew Spike wouldn’t want the baby to grow up in the demonic firm, so he was planning to help his Grandchilde by finding a suitable apartment nearby.

“Gunn, we have to find a place to stay. I don’t want my baby to grow up here,” Spike stated.

Angel looked surprised when Spike voiced his thoughts. He saw Gunn nodding his agreement behind him. The taller man had placed Spike in front of him and his arms circled Spike’s waist. Judging from the way Gunn was holding him, Spike would be fine. It was even possible that he had finally found someone willing to appease his lifelong hunger for love. Spike had always been a special vamp, his lust for love had always been greater than his lust for blood and violence. Angelus had tried to beat that human trait away from the fledgling but had never succeeded.

“Pumpkins? I need you two to hum a few lines so I can read you, okay?” Lorne asked.

Gunn didn’t answer but started humming a song, ‘Everything I do’ from Bryan Adams. The empathy demon smiled at the choice of song as well as their future.

Spike followed Gunn’s humming and chose the song ‘My way’ from Frank Sinatra.

Again Lorne smiled. “You’re going to be fine. The PTB had nothing to do with this, but they do encourage you two to stay together. You are both very special,” Lorne told them.

“How special?” Gunn asked curiously.

“They haven’t given me that answer yet,” Lorne answered carefully, knowing the boys would have to know the full truth some day. It was too soon for a full disclosure, though. 

“Spike, Gunn, why don’t you two take my apartment for awhile to talk about things,” Angel suggested. Lorak had already left the room to attend his other patients.

Angel turned and stared at Lorne. He was in love with the empathy demon but so far he had been too damn shy to do anything about it.

“Angelcakes? Do you need me for anything else?” Lorne asked.

Angel was daydreaming about kissing Lorne when he heard Lorne’s question. He turned bright red. “Uhm…yeah. But the thing I need, is in your room,” Angel answered softly.

“Okay, are you coming with me then?” Lorne questioned. He saw Angel blushing and was very curious to know what the vampire wanted from his room.

 

*****

 

Lorne invited the suddenly shy vampire inside. Intrigued by his unusual behaviour, he sniffed Angel’s scent, trying to get an idea of what was troubling him. Nobody knew he could smell some things just like vampires if he wanted to. He usually didn’t use that skill and nobody had ever asked. A pheromone wall of arousal hit him fast and he felt his cock stir. Angel wanted him too?

Angel’s initial plan had been to turn around and kiss the green demon before he did or said anything awkward that would make him lose his nerve. Unfortunately, his plan failed when Lorne took him in his arms and kissed him deeply. So deeply he forgot his own name.

“How long have you been wanting me?” Lorne asked seductively, breaking up the kiss that had left Angel panting for unneeded breath.

“Mm? Um…about a year. Since Willow restored and bound my soul without the curse. How did you know?” Angel gasped out, getting aroused by the two hands, which were cupping his ass and pulling him against the demon’s groin.

“I can smell pheromones just like you can,” Lorne said smiling. “Are you sure about the curse, Angel? Because I want you too,” Lorne whispered, swiping his tongue across Angel’s jugular before nipping it gently. He grinned when he noticed Angel’s legs were no longer able to support him and the vampire was now leaning heavily on Lorne’s shoulders.

“We should wait, Angel!” Lorne said breathlessly, when Angel started undressing him. 

“No! Don’t want to wait. Want you now!” Angel demanded desperately.

Lorne guided Angel towards his couch and laid the vampire on it. He quickly divested Angel from his clothes, leaving the naked, blushing and horny vampire fully exposed.

Angel gasped at Lorne’s touch while he was being undressed and he shivered at the sight of Lorne, hungrily staring at him and licking his lips. The vampire stared back at Lorne, curious about the demon’s body, usually concealed by his flashy clothes. He was pleasantly surprised by the demon’s muscled body and the brown spots on his abdomen that were a sign of arousal among his species until Lorne’s cock caught his attention. It was huge.

Lorne was aroused and his cock jumped against his stomach. He stroked it gently before walking towards Angel. He took the feet in his hands and pushed the legs against Angel’s chest before diving down to lick Angel’s entrance.

“Aaaahhh!” Angel groaned loudly when Lorne pushed his tongue inside his ass. His hands on Lorne’s head pushing him further against his ass cheeks.

Lorne moaned as well, pushing in and out of the tight hole repeatedly. Angel’s hole was squeezing his tongue and it felt like Angel was still a virgin when it came to being taken by a man.

“Angel, have you ever done this before?” Lorne asked after pulling his tongue out of Angel’s delicious body.

Angel needed some time to be able to answer the question. “No. Why? Is that going to be a problem?” Angel panicked.

“No, that’s not a problem. But that means I won’t enter you tonight. I want to make your first time very special!” Lorne stated. “Until then, I will do things like this…”

Before Angel could object, he felt his cock engulfed by a wet heat. Lorne started sucking Angel’s cock head and massaging his balls. The sucking became faster and harder and Angel arched his back. His orgasm slammed through him and he howled a primal scream. The moment Lorne tasted Angel’s semen, he came in his pants without a single touch.

 

Title: Owning my mistakes 2b/18  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
Warning: mentions of the rape  
Spoilers: Season 5, episode Destiny.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina: Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.  
A/N 2: Angel season 5. I took the scene where Harmony and Spike get it on. I twisted it.   
A/N 3: Cordelia never went evil and still lives, Connor doesn’t exist and Gunn never turned into a lawyer.

Beta’d by: my lovely and precious Error! Contact not defined..

***Angel’s office***

Gunn and Spike heard Angel’s howl reverberating throughout the entire firm and couldn’t help but smile even though Spike had no idea why Angel would do such a thing.

“Finally! It’s about time that silly vampire stopped brooding and found the guts to tell Lorne he wanted him!” Gunn exclaimed.

“Angel wanted Lorne?” Spike asked surprised and saw Gunn nodding his head enthusiastically.

The couple was sitting in Angel’s office discussing the doctor’s list. They needed so many things, they were planning to invite Fred and Cordy to help them shopping. Therefore they were now surfing the Internet to look for a shop that would be open until late hours nearby. 

 

**Later that afternoon**

 

“Gunn, I have found an apartment nearby, do you and Spike want to have a look?” Angel suggested, walking in his office and giving the young man the address.

“Okay, I will ask Spike if he’s up for it. Does it have a sewer entrance?” the hunter spoke softly, careful not to wake up Spike. The blond vampire had fallen asleep on Angel’s couch.

“How do you think I got there?” Angel chuckled.

Gunn nodded his head and sat next to Spike watching him sleep. He smiled when he saw the eyes fluttering open.

Spike felt someone watching him and woke up. He could never sleep when a person was watching him.

“Hey, luv,” Spike mumbled, still waking up.

Gunn grinned. Spike looked like a little boy when he woke up, his fists rubbing his eyes and yawning at the same time. He couldn’t stop himself and gave Spike a peck on the lips and nose before standing up.

“Angel found us an apartment. Do you want to check it out?” Gunn asked and extended his hand for Spike to take.

“Okay, but is there a sewer entrance? It’s still daylight,” Spike asked curious. He had never thought they would find an apartment this quick.

“Yeah, there is,” Angel answered instead. He hadn’t left his office and was watching the couple.

“So, what’s with the howling, Angel?” Spike joked.

“Y…You…I…Lorne…uhm,” Angel stuttered, not knowing what to say. He couldn’t believe everybody had heard his howling. He blushed.

“Wow, he did you good!” Gunn exclaimed when the older vampire didn’t know what to say.

“Baby, are you okay?” Lorne asked, when he stepped into his lover’s office and saw him licking his upper lip again.

“Yes, he was trying to come up with a good excuse for his howling! Couldn’t think of one though,” Spike said, giggling when his Grandsire blushed again.

“Ah, my baby’s howling. You better get used to it, guys. He will be screaming and howling even louder next time I touch his body,” Lorne answered with an evil smile on his face.

“Spike, Gunn, please go!” Angel begged, no longer able to look them in the eyes. He had never felt this embarrassed before.

“Okay, let’s go then! What are we waiting for?” Spike announced, standing up, taking his duster and waiting for Gunn to catch up.

Gunn laughed, his boyfriend was very eager to see the apartment.  
“Let’s go then, sweet heart,” Gunn said, walking out of the office trusting Spike to follow him. 

The vampire followed Gunn dreamily, with a smile on his face. Gunn had called him sweetheart. Nobody had ever called him that. The hunter placed his arm around Spike’s shoulder and both entered the sewer, following Angel’s instructions to the place.

 

*****

 

Spike was looking into every room while Gunn was already thinking where to place several pieces of furniture. This would be their home. 

“Gunn, this house is perfect. It has plenty of room for the kid and there will be room for a small office,” Spike told the hunter.

“I was thinking, we could have separate rooms until you’re ready to share?” Gunn suggested.

“…I don’t want that. I want to share a room with you. I need to feel safe and you do that already by just suggesting that,” Spike replied, dismissing Gunn’s idea.

“You do? I can wait, Spike,” Gunn offered again, just to make sure Spike was certain of his choice.

“I need to do this. We’ve only got 16 days before this baby is born and I want the baby to have two fathers who are together. This will be our room,” Spike answered, showing Gunn the master bedroom. “And this will be the nursery, ” pointing at a smaller room which was located next to their bedroom.

Gunn embraced Spike from behind. “So we’re taking the place?” he whispered in Spike’s ear and laughed when the vampire nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah. We have to, don’t you see. Our child will play here and here, the crib will be standing here. This door has to be removed though,” Spike explained his vision of the place.

“Okay, let’s tell Angel. I ‘m sure he will take care of the papers. That way we can go shopping with Cordy,” Gunn said, taking Spike by the hand and leading him back to the sewers towards the firm.

 

*****

 

When they entered, the firm was empty. No employees walking around. “What’s going on?” Gunn mumbled while he looked around.

“Harmony, what happened?” Spike asked the female vampire who wore a big smile and was about to leave.

“Angel has given everyone three weeks off, with pay of course,” Harmony answered and walked out of the firm.

“Angel?” Spike called out. He stormed into Angel’s office and was about to question his Grandsire on this unexpected decision. However, he halted suddenly at the sight of Lorne kissing Angel deeply. 

Angel had heard Spike walking into the office but he couldn’t bring himself to move away or say anything while Lorne kissed him. Lorne’s tongue was doing incredible things to his fangs. His cock hardened just by feeling the tongue sucking on one of his fangs.

He had no intention to interrupt their kiss but Lorne had already pulled back and was saying something he didn’t quite comprehend. Lorne’s kiss had left him too dazed to be able to think about anything else.

“Hello, Spike. Did you like the apartment Angel found for the two of you?” Lorne asked, smiling blindly.

“Yes, we did. And we’re taking it. We were wondering if Angel could deal with the papers and all?” Gunn questioned.

“Angel? Are you okay?” Spike asked softly. His Grandsire was scaring him, the older vampire hadn’t moved from his spot since Lorne stopped kissing him.

Angel heard the waver in Spike’s voice and snapped out of his daze. He turned, blushed and smiled at his Grandchilde. “I’m fine. My brain is going south right now, but I’m fine,” Angel joked, smiling when he saw Spike glancing at his crotch with a knowing look. “So, did you like the place?” 

“I loved it. Gunn and I will be taking Cordy and Fred shopping for things for the baby,” Spike happily told Angel, fear leaving his body at Angel’s cheerful mood. “You don’t need us around right now, do you?” 

“Why did you give everyone three weeks off?” Gunn asked seriously.

“Lorak advised me to do so because of Spike’s extended belly, which will happen almost every day. Lorak found it too dangerous for him to be exposed to so many people,” Angel explained. “So I gave everyone a vacation on the job’s credit. Can you believe almost every person was gone within two minutes?” 

“These people hadn’t had a day off ever, before you turned the boss here,” Lorne responded before embracing Angel in his arms again. Spike and Gunn left the new couple alone and went in search of the girls for a shopping spree.

“They are going to be exhausted when they get back,” Angel dreamily mentioned. 

“That means we can take care of the papers while they’re gone, sweetheart. The sooner that’s done, the faster I can get you naked,” Lorne answered and guided Angel to his desk.

Angel sat behind his desk, quickly searching for the papers and making sure his Grandchilde and his lover could move into the place the very next day. The sooner that was done, the sooner he could go back kissing Lorne.

 

*****

 

Cordelia and Fred were pleasantly surprised to know about Spike’s pregnancy and accepted immediately to help the boys with their babyshopping. Cordelia had hugged Spike tightly. They had never been the best of friends, but Spike had changed from a soulless bloody killer into a souled vamp who had saved the world, into an obnoxious ghost and now into a shy pregnant man who was making her friend Gunn smile like a fool. She would do her best to be accepted into their little family. She wanted to be a part of the child’s life.

“Have you got an idea on how the nursery would look like?” Fred questioned.

“I want a light wooden crib and closets, and green blankets, curtains and such,” Spike told the girls happily.

Gunn couldn’t help but laugh, his lover had thought about everything. “You have surfed many sites haven’t you?” he softly said in the vampire’s ear.

Spike turned around and looked at Gunn. The man was already making him feel safe, even after such a short time. Perhaps their child was the cause of that. Spike kept staring at Gunn while dreaming about their baby and their future life. He didn’t notice he was crying.

“William, sweet heart? What’s wrong?” Gunn said, taking the vampire’s face in his hands.

“Just happy. We’re going to be parents,” Spike mumbled embarrassed. He hadn’t felt the tears until Gunn asked him the question. That’s when Spike realised he had been given a nickname.

“Sweetheart? William?” Spike whispered tearfully.

“Yes, William. That’s the name of my lover. No, not Sweetheart, but sweet heart,” Gunn replied, making sure his lover heard the two separate words correctly.

Fred and Cordy were enjoying this beautiful moment and broke the silent with their sniffling.

Both men turned their heads to give the women incredulous looks.

“What?” Cordy asked.

“Why are you crying?” Spike asked curiously. Women were so weird! Even after all his unlife experience, he had never been able to understand them fully.

“We aren’t crying,” Fred sniffed.

“Okay, let’s go shopping. The sun has gone down,” Cordy said greedily, after drying her tears. “Angel!” She screamed. “Give me your creditcard!” Cordy demanded, knocking insistently on Angel’s office door.

“You already have it, Cordy. Remember last time I ruined your dress?” Angel replied shouting from inside before moaning again.

“Right, forgot that. Nuts, I could have bought myself that cute red dress,” Cordy muttered to herself.

“Cordy, I want to see receipts!” Lorne suddenly demanded.

“Fine! Let’s go, guys,” Cordy instructed annoyed.

 

*****

 

“Okay, this is scary,” Gunn said softly to Fred. 

Fred and Gunn were walking behind Cordy and Spike, who were happily chatting about several things as if they had done this many times together.

“Yes, it is,” Fred agreed.

“Charles, I like this bed. See, when our baby is older we can turn it into a toddler bed, and later on a teenager bed,” Spike explained, showing his boyfriend the crib.

“It’s beautiful,” Gunn said, still stunned to hear his first name coming out of the vampire’s mouth. “Charles?”

“I don’t want to call you Gunn. It’s too impersonal,” Spike explained looking at Gunn. He smiled broadly when his lover nodded his head and gave Spike a peck on the nose.

“I like it, sweet heart,” Gunn whispered in his boyfriend’s ear. He looked back at Spike and saw something he had never expected to see. William was blushing.

“Awwww,” Fred whispered to herself.

Spike heard this and glared at the women. Cordy and Fred both had their womanly ‘aawww’ faces on.

“William, let’s find some blankets, mattresses…let’s buy everything today. We also need paint, brushes, etc.,” Gunn suddenly exclaimed happily.

“Okay,” Spike said and kissed his lover on the lips before dragging Cordy with him to a saleswoman. He wanted to fill in an order form so they would remember everything they wanted to buy. He couldn’t stop his smile from appearing after Charles’ enthusiasm.

 

*****

 

“Lorne, what are you doing?” Angel asked, surprised to see Lorne leaving his office. He could see a faint glow before the door was closed.

“I have a surprise for you,” Lorne replied. As soon as the others left the firm, Lorne had invited Angel to go to a popular nightclub. He had told him to shower and change into a more casual attire and meet him in the lobby in half an hour. Meanwhile, he had been busy carrying all the items he had hid in his office into Angel’s office, preparing it for their first real lovemaking.

Lorne approached Angel at the elevators and started undressing him piece by piece. First, he peeled off his red silk shirt to reveal Angel’s cute dark little nipples and firm muscled abdomen. The grey cotton pants were unbuttoned and he instructed Angel to take them off as well as his black shoes. Finally, the vampire stood naked in the hallway. 

Lorne guided Angel to his office and opened the door. The vampire stood in the doorway and stared at the surprising scene that Lorne had created in his office. Dozens of candles were lit and their flickering light revealed how much thought and effort Lorne had put into making their first night together special. He didn’t notice Lorne undressing until the demon pressed himself naked against Angel’s back.

Lorne walked the vampire inside his office. He had bought a new mattress, dark red silk sheets and several other items for their first night together. He had chosen the office because it was big and could be filled with a lot of special candles. These candles would burn forever until he said a special word and they didn’t burn vampires.

“Lie on your front,” Lorne instructed Angel.

Angel shivered but did as asked. He knelt on the make shift bed and laid down. Placing his head on his arms, he waited for Lorne’s next move.   
He jumped a little when Lorne straddled his waist, the demon’s cock lying nestled between his ass cheeks.

Lorne took a bottle of cinnamon oil and walked to the bed. He silently sat on Angel’s waist and smiled when Angel jumped at this movement. He dribbled some oil on Angel’s back and placed the bottle next to the bed. His hands followed the trail of oil and began rubbing it into Angel’s skin.

Angel gasped at the coolness of the oil, but he moaned when Lorne rubbed it in. The oil become warmer by the minute. He became sleepy, but was startled awake when Lorne slapped his ass.

Lorne chuckled when he saw Angel’s eyes drooping. He lifted himself off Angel’s waist and slapped him before sitting down again but this time lower down the legs. He took some more oil and started on the vampire’s lower back to his legs. He skipped Angel’s ass, Lorne had special plans with that part of Angel’s body. He did however kiss each cheek.

Angel tried to move closer to Lorne’s hands. His lover was making him feel special and aroused. He gasped when his ass was kissed twice. The oil was becoming warmer, his skin tingling with pleasure.

“Lorne!” Angel whispered, silently begging him to touch his ass. His hips started moving, trying to get some friction on his cock. But the silk wasn’t helping at all.

“Angel, stop moving!” Lorne instructed and chuckled when he was obeyed immediately. Who would have guessed Angel liked being the submissive one, after all?

Lorne rubbed the oil on Angel’s legs and feet. He heard his lover giggle when he traced his nail along the bottom of Angel’s left foot. He had to remember that. Lorne sat up and instructed Angel to turn on his back.

Angel went to lie on his back and Lorne straddled his waist again. Their cocks were lying next to each other and that gave him some friction when Lorne continued rubbing the oil into Angel’s skin.

Within 10 minutes Angel’s body was tingling from the warm oil expect for his groin and ass. Those two spots had been deliberately skipped.

Lorne manoeuvred Angel in the way Lorne wanted him to; on his back, knees bowed, legs spread and feet flat on the bed. This position showed Lorne Angel’s little virgin pucker. The empathy demon kneeled between Angel’s legs and started kissing the dry skin. He took Angel’s cock head in his mouth and softly sucked it.

Angel was getting nuts; the sucking was so gently that it was preventing the vampire’s pleasure from building higher. He placed his hands on Lorne’s head, trying to make the demon suck harder.

Instead, Lorne stopped his gentle sucking and let go of the cock, kissing it until he reached Angel’s heavy balls. He played with them before taking them in one hand and lifting them away from the soft patch of skin behind the balls. He kissed it and smirked when Angel started moaning louder and louder. His skillful tongue trailed lower to Angel’s pucker. He kissed it gently before pushing the tip of his tongue inside.

Angel screamed when he felt Lorne’s tongue entering him so slowly. He started begging in a language Lorne never heard before. It made Lorne smile and he pushed his tongue further inside.

Angel on his turn grabbed the back of his knees and spread his legs wider, giving Lorne more entrance to his body. He knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t stop it. His lover was doing incredible things to his body.

The empathy demon pulled his tongue out and took some lotion he had placed on the other side of the bed. He slicked his fingers and pushed one finger inside Angel. The vampire arched his back and babbled again. A second finger joined the first and Lorne started stretching Angel’s pucker. Lorne soon entered a third finger and when he thoroughly stretched his lover’s hole; he began to slick his hard cock, to which he had denied attention so far. This was for Angel, he had put his own pleasure on hold until now. Lorne placed his cock at the stretched pucker and pushed his cock head inside. When he breached the tight hole, he heard Angel gasping for air.

It hurt. Angel didn’t think it would hurt this much. He couldn’t stop gasping for breath he didn’t need. He heard Lorne whispering soft soothing words and felt him gently stroking the skin on his belly. He relaxed himself and felt the pain ease. It became just an uncomfortable feeling when Lorne pushed in further. The green demon’s cock was a few inches larger and at least one inch thicker. 

Lorne took it slow, he knew he was larger than average and he didn’t want to hurt Angel during their lovemaking. He knew it would hurt at the initial breaching but he would make sure that Angel would enjoy their coupling. He waited for Angel to get accustomed to be penetrated this deep. His balls rested against Angel’s ass cheeks.

Angel relaxed his whole body and began to push back slowly giving Lorne the hint to move. He howled when Lorne pulled out and pushed back inside immediately hitting his little nub inside.

Lorne continued pulling out and pushing back inside Angel again until he felt his pleasure building higher. He took Angel’s cock in his hand and pumped it in time with his thrusting.

They both moved faster and harder until it had them coming at the same time. Angel’s come spurted from his cock onto his chest and over Lorne’s hand. Lorne spilled himself inside Angel, filling the vampire with his come. 

Angel could feel Lorne coming but he frowned when the spurting didn’t stop. He kept watching Lorne’s face and waited exhausted for the demon to stop coming. 

Lorne finally felt his cock stop erupting before gently pulling out of his lover who was staring at him in shock and exhaustion. He chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Angel on the mouth. The kiss was softly returned and Lorne could see Angel was about to fall asleep. He placed himself on top of Angel and rolled over so Angel was now lying on top of Lorne.

Angel was too tired to object when they changed positions. He placed his head on Lorne’s chest and felt the sheet surrounding them. Lorne was holding him in his arms and he fell asleep peacefully with Lorne following him.

 

*****

 

It was midnight when four exhausted people arrived back at the law firm. They stopped a few feet before the entrance of Angel’s office. The floor was covered with clothing, which looked like they were coming from Angel. 

Spike took Gunn’s hand and together they slowly made their way to Angel’s office. Gunn embraced Spike when the vampire saw his Grandsire snuggling with Lorne, very deeply asleep.

“Guys, Fred and I are going to our rooms. We will see you tomorrow at your new apartment,” Cordelia whispered, she didn’t want to wake Angel and Lorne. 

Gunn and Spike nodded their agreement and walked to Angel’s bedroom. They couldn’t stay at their new home, because it didn’t have a bed yet. And Gunn’s apartment was too far even though it was inside the firm. They were just too tired to walk that far. So they walked quickly to Angel’s bedroom, sleepily undressed themselves and slipped between the sheets.

Spike fell asleep immediately when his head hit the pillow. He didn’t feel his lover taking him into his arms. Gunn followed him in his sleep, holding his lover tightly.

 

Title: Owning my mistakes 3/18  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Rating:   
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
Warning: rape  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina:   
Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.

 

Beta'd by: Spiked_by_James

 

***Day 3 - 10.00 a.m.***

 

Spike and Gunn were sitting in Lorak's office. The doctor was rummaging in his filing cabinet, looking for a file where he had compiled some information about male pregnancies and different childbirth options for Spike to read. When he found the file, he turned around, placed it on his desk and smiled at the anxious couple.

"Spike, I would like to examine your belly," Lorak told the vampire.

Spike looked at Gunn, who was holding his hand tightly, and nodded his head. The vampire stood up and removed his shirt before lying down on the gurney so the doctor could examine him.

Gunn watched how Spike laid down on his back. He stood up from his chair and went to stand next to Spike.

Lorak chanted a few words and a blue glow surrounded Spike's belly. A magical screen suddenly appeared, seemingly made out of thin air. "Watch the screen, please" , the doctor warned.

Spike looked at the screen and saw a very small and black white dot. It seemed to be moving at irregular intervals. "What's that?" Spike asked curiously.

"That tiny dot is your baby. Apparently this pregnancy is going faster than I thought," Lorak answered, while taking some notes on the size and development of the foetus.

"That's our baby? It's so small," Gunn asked, stunned . 

"In fact, it's bigger than I had expected. Spike was impregnated three days ago so the foetus should be as big as a six week old baby.

However, it seems to be developing at a fast rate. It has the size and development of a seven week old baby. 

"Is it human or a vampire ? Could it be a Florak demon ?" Gunn questioned, worried that the baby would somehow have inherited some of the Florak's demonic traits.

" From the baby's anatomy and physiology, I can safely say that the baby isn't a Florak demon. As for being a vampire or human, it's too soon to tell," Lorak explained. " We'll be able to use an ultrasound heart monitor in a few days to check out the baby's heart rate," the doctor said, before chanting a few words that dissipated the screen into thin air.

"What if l have a human baby?" Spike asked stunned. "How will it eat? I only drink blood. Will I have to eat human food?" the vampire asked worried.

"It wouldn't harm the baby if you start eating healthy human food, but you have to continue drinking blood for your own health and I prefer you drink human blood. You also have to stop smoking and drinking alcohol," Lorak explained. "You have to be strong enough to deliver the baby. It wouldn't do you any good, if you were too weak to go through labour."

"How will the baby be born?" Gunn asked curiously.

"Spike can choose from several options, but I want to rule out one option," Lorak explained. "Because I don't know how the baby will react to a narcotic fluid, I don't want to do a C-section."

"I don't want to harm our baby, so I don't want to do that then. But what other options do I have?" Spike asked nervously.

Gunn saw Spike was fidgeting. "Can he dress now?" the hunter asked.

"Yes, of course," Lorak replied, before turning around in order to give the couple some privacy.

Gunn helped Spike clean up and pulled his shirt back on. The hunter took the vampire in his arms and pecked him on the lips before guiding the vampire back to their chairs.

Spike smiled shyly. He loved getting Gunn's attention and hoped the hunter would never stop being so affectionate. He sat down and continued holding Gunn's right hand. 

The doctor sat behind his desk and handed the file he had previously retrieved from the filing cabinet to the blushing vampire. "Spike, this is a list about how men can give birth. Each option has a explanation below it. You can let me know tomorrow what you have decided, okay?" Lorak asked.

"Okay," Spike answered, already looking at the possibilities.

"There is also a list of things you need to think about before your baby arrives. Also, I'd like to know if you want me to reveal its gender," Lorak asked. He needed to complete the file to be able to help Spike with everything. "Think about this, discuss it with each other and let me know tomorrow."

Spike and Gunn nodded their agreement and stood up. "See you tomorrow."

 

***2.30 p.m.***

 

Spike and Gunn had spent the past hours unpacking boxes and arranging their new furniture in the way they wanted. Spike's few possessions could all be placed in an old duffel bag or had been reclaimed from the city dump so, together with Lorne and Angel, they had bought several pieces of furniture. 

Angel had hired a moving company to pick up the new furniture as well as the stuff Gunn still had at the firm's apartment and deliver it in their new residence. Spike's sire had also contracted a decorating crew, which had already painted the nursery in the colours Spike had chosen. The other rooms would be decorated the next few days.

While deciding where to put all the baby items they had already bought in the nursery, the vampire had been trying to decide if he wanted to know the baby's gender and worrying about Gunn's reaction to his decision.

"William? Shall we discuss the list Lorak has given us?" Gunn asked.

Spike walked out of the nursery and sat next to Gunn who was looking at the list. He knew the demon hunter wanted to ask him whether they wanted to know about the baby's gender or not. 

"Do you want to know the baby's gender?" Gunn read the first question on the list and smiled gently at his lover. He knew Spike was trying to avoid the subject, because the vampire didn't want to be in the way if the hunter wanted to know.

"Uhm...what do you want?" Spike asked back.

"I want to keep it a surprise until he or she is born," Gunn answered. The hunter was curious to see if they were getting a boy or girl, but Spike was a Victorian vampire and would probably want to wait until after birth. He wanted to respect Spike's wishes and smiled when he heard Spike's answer.

"I want to keep it a surprise too," Spike replied, relieved. 

"I love you, sweet heart," Gunn said softly in Spike's ear.

Spike blushed and turned his head to look into Gunn's brown eyes. He closed his eyes when the hunter kissed him gently. Spike kissed back, placed his arms around Gunn's neck and deepened the kiss.

Gunn's mind went into overdrive when his lover kissed him back. He traced Spike's lips with his tongue and entered the cool mouth when Spike gasped.  
Gunn gently trailed his tongue along Spike's teeth and palate, tasting him.

"You taste very good," Gunn whispered before giving him one more kiss.

Spike moaned when Gunn ended the kiss, but growled softly when he heard his lover tell him he tasted good.

"We need to finish this list quickly, so that I can have my wicked way with you," Gunn said, while leering at his lover.

Spike swallowed nervously and focused on his list again. "So, we don't want to know the gender," Spike muttered, while writing that down on the paper.

"Have you read the options about the birth yet?" Gunn asked curiously.

"Yeah, I did. I want to give birth while sitting," Spike answered, blushing when he saw Gunn reading the option.

"Okay, let's write it down," Gunn suggested. "What else is on that list?"

"The rest is about me. If I'm feeling nauseas, my age etc.," Spike said, while writing down everything.

Gunn watched his lover focus on the paper, while he thought of things he wanted to do to that lean body. Making sure Spike was feeling special.

 

***3 p.m.***

 

Angel knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Spike or Gunn to open the door. While waiting he felt Lorne embracing him from behind.

"Lorne? What are you doing?" Angel asked his lover as he turned his head around.

"Just giving you one more kiss before we enter your Grandchilde's new home," Lorne answered and kissed the Master Vampire deeply.

"You done yet?" Spike asked, grinning mischievously. He had opened the door the moment Lorne started kissing his lover. It felt great to see Angel too dazed to be able to talk or respond to his usual taunts.

Lorne broke the kiss when he heard Spike's question. "Yes, I'm done. Let's go inside, Angelcakes," Lorne said.

Angel had trouble focusing on what his lover was saying, he still felt his lover's tongue in his mouth. "Hey!" he called out when Spike dragged him inside. The older vampire observed how Spike walked to Gunn and sat close to him, how Gunn placed his arm around Spike's slim waist and pulled him tighter against him, how Spike placed his head on his lover's shoulder and how Gunn kissed the blond's head. He was pleased to see the new couple was getting closer, despite the rape that had occurred only three days ago.

"Lorne, Angel, would you like something to drink?" Gunn asked the couple sitting together on the couch.

"No, thank you. We were just curious about how things went at the doctor's," Lorne answered curiously.

"Oh, well, it went good. Lorak thinks the pregnancy is going faster than he thought. And we don't know if the baby is human or a vampire yet, but I have to stop smoking and drinking alcohol and I chose giving birth, sitting," Spike babbled.

"You babble like Fred and Willow," Angel laughed.

"Bloody hell! I do not!" Spike called out.

"Yeah, you do. But I like it," Gunn answered and gave his lover a kiss on the nose. He had met Willow once and she was as bad as Fred.

Spike blushed and hid his face in Gunn's neck.

"Angel, let's leave this lovely couple alone this afternoon. We can visit again tomorrow morning," Lorne suggested before guiding his lover out of the apartment.

 

*****

 

Gunn smiled at Lorne when he guided Angel away from their home. Now he could set every thing in motion and be just Charles. He closed their apartment's door and stepped predatorily towards his William.

Spike began panting when he noticed Charles leering at him. He stepped backwards but was stopped by the wall. He closed his eyes when he felt himself being kissed deeply.

Charles ended the kiss and whispered roughly in Spike's ear. "Undress yourself." The hunter knew from the Watcher's journal that Master Vampires liked to be dominated. That was what Charles was planning to do, but with a slight twist.

Spike growled at the order, but obeyed. He stepped away from his lover and walked to the bedroom. He waited for Charles to enter the bedroom to stop in front of him and undressed himself slowly in front of Charles.

The hunter undressed himself as soon as he saw William completely naked. He stepped forward and embraced his lover. He licked the sensitive pale neck before walking them towards the bed.

"Charles? What are you..." Spike started asking, but trailed off when Charles licked his neck.

Spike felt the bed against the back of his knees. He sat down and Charles arranged him until he was lying on his front on the bed. He watched how his lover looked under the bed and came back up holding a red, plastic box. He couldn't see what was in it and peered curiously at Charles.

Charles smiled at the vampire's curiosity. The hunter placed the box on their brand new nightstand and took the lavender scented massage oil from it. He poured some oil on his hands and placed his hands on the vampire's pale back. He grinned when he heard Spike gasping for air. The hunter gently began his exploration of the beautiful body in front of him.

William felt the oil becoming warmer and he arched his back. He groaned when he felt Charles sitting on his legs, the pressure turning him on. He felt his cock harden instantly.

Charles noticed the change in William's body and wiggled a bit when he sat on his lover's upper legs. His cock had hardened at the erotic sight of Spike's nude body. He trailed his hands from the shoulders to the small of William's back. Every time he reached the top of his lover's ass, the vampire moaned softly. He smiled; his plan of seducing and making love to William was working.

William started pushing back against the hands when they reached his ass. "Charles, please!" he begged.

"What do you want me to do?" Charles asked and spoke further before William had the chance to answer. 

"Do you want me to touch your soft cheeks," Charles whispered, while placing his hands on said cheeks. 

"Do you want me to kiss your neck and back?" Charles leaned forward to trace his tongue across the neck and kissed each vertebrae till the small of Spike's back. 

"Do you want me to kiss you here?" Charles pulled back from his kissing at William's neck and placed himself between William's legs before kissing each butt cheek. 

"Do you want to show me your sweet tight little hole?" Charles spread the cheeks and kissed William's rosette.

William was panting heavily. Charles was making him feel special with the way he was asking and demonstrating every question. The only way he could respond was pushing back and moaning...loudly.

Charles watched his lover flush with want. "Turn around," he instructed.

William turned around to lie on his back. He looked up in Charles' face and watched the man's pupils dilate. His lover's hands were placed on his chest.

Charles took the tiny pink nipples between his thumbs and fingers, rolling them between them and squeezed them gently but sharp enough for the vampire to arch his back. The hunter took William's wrists in his hand and guided them to the head of the bed. "Don't move your hands," Charles ordered.

William closed his eyes and obeyed. His hands grabbed the headboard and waited impatiently for Charles to continue. He felt the blankets move and realized his lover had moved away from the bed. "Charles?" 

Charles heard the waver in William's voice when he stood up to pick his next item from the box. "I'm still here, sweet heart," Charles comforted the passion-filled vampire, who was trembling with barely controlled desire. The hunter looked at the body sprawled on the bed. The hard cock jutting from its body and jumping every time Charles looked at it. The hunter looked from the item hidden in his hand to the vampire. He sat on the bed next to William and placed the tip of the item on top of William's cock.

William howled when he felt something soft stroke his cock head. His legs spread wide while he pushed his hips up, trying to touch the item again. 

Charles traced the feather from the leaking cock to Wiliam's belly button. From there he traced the tip of the feather to the pink hard nipples before leaning down to take the right nipple in his mouth. He sucked and nipped it gently, smiling at the resulting moan that escaped his lover's throat.

William arched his back and broke his promise of not moving his arms. He placed his hands on top of Charles' head and pushed the other man to his waist.

"You want me to touch you here?" Charles whispered. He stood up and kneeled between his lover's spread legs. He took the cock in his hand and pumped it slowly. He had dropped the feather and focused himself on his lover. He gave the cock tiny licks.

"Ohhhhh," William moaned, closing his eyes and letting the passion take over his body.

"You like that, sweet heart?" Charles asked.

"Yesssss," William hissed.

Charles took the cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the head before taking the cock deeper into his mouth. His tongue probed the slit where the pre-come was leaking steadily. He swallowed it and hummed.

William screamed when his lover hummed around his cock. The vibrations ran through his cock and balls. He felt his balls draw up before he came hard, shooting his semen into Charles' mouth.

Charles swallowed everything William had to give before dropping the soft cock from his mouth. He moved up and kissed William deeply.

William was lying dazedly on the bed. He felt Gunn reaching down towards the floor. He opened his eyes and saw a tube of lube on the bed. He looked at Charles and noticed the other man hadn't come yet. He reached out with his left hand and wanted to take the cock in his hand.

"Not yet, William. I want to come inside you," Charles whispered, stopping his lover's hand. "I will be very gentle," the hunter said when he saw William's panicking face.

Charles laid down on his side and pulled William into his embrace. The other man snuggled into his side and hid his face against Charles' face. 

William felt Charles' hand cupping his ass and tensed briefly when he felt two fingers touch his hole. The tension left when he heard Charles' whispering sweet nothings and felt that the fingers were slicked. He wanted to be touched as much as he wanted Charles to penetrate him. He bent his right leg and placed it on top of his lover's legs. That way he gave the fingers more room to work on.

Charles' traced the rosette and slicked the outside thoroughly before slipping the tip of one of his fingers inside. He stilled to let William get used to the gentle penetration. He pushed another digit in and within a few seconds his finger was embedded inside his lover. He started to pull out and push back in slowly.

William was enjoying the movement and pushed his hips back. He began purring when he felt Charles kissing his eyes, nose and mouth. The vampire's purring stopped briefly when Charles added a second finger.

Charles stopped thrusting when the purring stopped. He started to move again when his lover pushed back, begging him to push. He slowly pushed the fingers further inside and searched for William's prostate. When he found it, he gently pressed it. He grinned widely when he felt William buck against him.

"Bloody hell!" William howled. He was seeing stars the moment the hunter touched a spot inside him. "What was that?"

"That was your prostate, a man's G-spot!" Charles answered.

"Men have a G-spot?" William questioned.

"Yes," Charles replied before touching it again. He loved the feeling of William bucking against his body. He added a third finger and started scissoring.

William felt the three fingers moving and started moving back against them. He wanted them deeper inside him. His hands started touching Charles' body. One of his hands bumped into Charles' cock and he stilled. "That's not going to fit!" William whispered fearfully.

Charles felt William was thoroughly stretched to accommodate him when he heard the soft-spoken words. "Sweet heart, it will fit. I'll be very gentle," he said in William's ear.

William looked into the brown eyes and nodded his head. "Okay. But you will stop if it hurts?" William asked scared.

"Yes, I will stop," Charles said, knowing the vampire was remembering his rape again. He wanted William to feel it could be different, even though it would be his body again. The hunter rearranged his lover on his back with his legs spread. He kneeled between them and focused on William and slicking his cock thoroughly. He placed his cock at William's entrance and gently pushed inside. He stilled when his cock head popped in.

William gasped when he felt himself being penetrated. It felt different from the first time. His lover pushed further inside and he tensed when a dull pain shot through his body.

Charles knew the vampire was feeling pain and he stopped, letting William get used to the penetration. 

William felt the pain leave his body and morphing into an intense feeling of fulfillment. He started to push back, trying to get Charles to move further inside him.

The hunter pushed his whole cock inside until his balls were slapping against William's ass. He gently moved in and out, making sure he hit William's little nub inside repeatedly.

William was thrashing, the passion swept through his body and he couldn't stop moving his hips, rolling them in time with Charles' thrusting. He felt himself nearing his orgasm and howled when his lover took his cock in his hand. The pumping caused him to orgasm hard, shooting his semen onto their chests.

Charles' cock erupted when the man felt the ass muscles squeeze his cock tightly, milking him from his orgasm. He gently collapsed on top of William who embraced him.

"That was...wow!" William exclaimed tiredly.

"You were amazing. I love making love to you," Charles whispered to his love.

William blushed at the praising words and snuggled against Charles. The hunter pulled his soft cock from his lover and laid down on his back, pulling his lover against him. He took he blanket from the floor where it had slipped and covered them before sleep took over.

Charles gave William a soft kiss before falling asleep as well, holding his sweet heart tightly.

Title: Owning my mistakes 4/18  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Rating: R  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina:   
Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know, not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.

Beta'd by: Spiked_by_James, Morrolan17 and Pat. Thanks!

***Day 4 - 10.00 a.m.***

 

"William, sweet heart, are you awake yet?" Charles whispered in his lover's ear. Gunn watched as the vampire snuggled, pressing his extended belly into his side. "Guess not."

Charles pulled back and softly placed his hand on William's swollen belly. He had literally been watching their baby grow over the past few days. Spike's first ultrasound was scheduled for today and Gunn was anxious to see their child.

William woke up when he felt his belly moving. He smirked at the thought that his baby was moving within him. It was still strange to hear the baby's heartbeat inside his body. The vampire opened his eyes and looked at Charles.

Charles kissed William deeply before pulling back the covers and getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" William asked, frustrated that his lover wasn't willing to take the kiss any further.

"We have an appointment with Lorak, remember?" Charles replied, while trying to figure out a to distract his lover for a while before the ultrasound.

"Right, I forgot," William answered softly, stepping out of bed and into the bathroom.

 

*****

 

"Angel, Lorne, could you distract William for a while? I need some private time alone to pick something up," Gunn asked his boss and co-worker.

"Yeah, sure. Is it something for Spike?" Lorne asked curiously.

"Yes, it is," Gunn answered softly, hoping his lover hadn't heard him.

"Why are you two whispering?" Spike suddenly asked. He smiled when he watched Gunn jump in surprise.

"Angel and Lorne will take you to the doctor's and I will meet you there. I have to go to LA Hospital to visit the latest victim of the Nirtac demon we've been hunting. The poor guy was skinned alive and has regained consciousness. Maybe he has some useful information we can use. I'll come back as soon as I get done," Gunn answered quickly, giving Spike a peck on the nose.

"Will you be here on time?" Spike asked anxiously. He didn't want Angel nor Lorne to witness his first ultrasound, he wanted his lover.

"Yes, I'll be on time. It won't take too long in interviewing the victim," Gunn answered and walked away.

Spike watched Gunn walk away and glanced at his Grandsire and his demon lover. He knew they were hiding something from him, but judging from Angel's frown, Spike knew Angel didn't know what Gunn was planning.

 

*****

 

Gunn arrived just at the moment Spike was about to enter the exam room. He embraced Spike from behind and the vampire jumped slightly. He hadn't seen Gunn coming in. 

Gunn saw that Spike was relieved to see him. "Hey, told you I'd be here on time," Gunn said, while kissing Spike deeply in front of the doctor.

Lorak smiled at the beautiful sight the two men made and coughed softly. Spike blushed and Gunn just smiled before sitting down.

"How are you feeling, Spike?" Lorak questioned.

"I'm fine. My skin is stretching tight every time our baby grows though," Spike said, while stroking his belly.

"That's normal with this pregnancy. If you lie down on the table, we'll take a look at your baby. Shall we?" Lorak said, guiding the vampire to the table.

Gunn stood up and helped Spike to lie down. He chuckled when Spike yelped as the cold translucent gel was placed on Spike's belly. The hunter took his lover's hand in his own and together they watched the baby appear on the screen.

"Well, the baby is definitely growing. Let see..." Lorak spoke out loud. "Your baby is growing faster than we thought, it's approximately 13 weeks old instead of just 8 weeks."

"That's not bad, is it?" Spike asked worriedly.

"No, it's fine, Spike," Lorak replied, while printing out some still images of the ultrasound. "You can clean up now and get dressed."

The doctor walked back to his desk, sat down and scribbled some notes in Spike's file. He waited for Spike and Gunn to sit back down before handing over their baby's photo. "I still can't tell if the baby is human or demon. I will have to check every two days now."

Gunn stared at the black and white photo the doctor had handed to them. He traced his finger from the head to the little feet. He watched Spike do the same and looked adoringly at his lover as the vampire snuggled closer.

"Have you decided if you want to know about the baby's sex?" Lorak asked before escorting the couple to the door.

"We don't want to know," Gunn answered instantly. He remembered their conversation very clearly and the sex they had after that.

Spike blushed when he remembered their conversation. He ducked his head, but his lover lifted his chin before kissing him deeply... in front of the doctor again.

"I'd like to see you tomorrow at the same time. Remember to do the exercises to strengthen your hips and legs," Lorak warned Spike, as he watched the couple walk through the door.

 

*****

 

Gunn waited for Angel, Lorne, Wesley, Cordelia and Fred to enter Angel's office before closing the door.

"William, the first time I met you, I thought you were a rude, obnoxious and evil vampire. But after getting to know you better, I fell in love with you. You're cute, sensitive, kind, gorgeous, wicked, still evil, but a fantastic and beautiful young man. I love you very much," Gunn announced.

Spike couldn't believe his ears. Gunn was praising him and declaring his love in front of their family. He watched the man walk towards him and kneel down on the floor. Distant memories of old-fashioned marriage proposals crossed his mind but the vampire had learned a long time ago he would never find someone who would accept a proposal from a shy middle-class poet. The thought of being the object of such proposal was even more unlikely.

"William, will you marry me?" Gunn asked as he looked up into William's blue eyes.

"You want to marry me?" Spike whispered in awe. His lover had caught him completely off guard. "YES!" he shouted when he saw Gunn nodding his head in response.

Gunn smiled. His lover had accepted his proposal! He stood up and took Spike's left hand. The hunter nervously took the ring out of a small velvet box he had hidden in his jacket and slipped it on Spike's left ring finger.

"Angel, I'm getting married!" Spike said enthusiastically to his Grandsire.

"I know, William. I witnessed it, didn't I?" Angel said proudly to Spike.

Spike looked at the group and only then realised that Gunn had planned this. He looked at Fred, who had tears in her eyes. Lorne had embraced Angel from behind and they were smiling. Wesley was standing by the door with Cordelia. He frowned, why were they holding hands?

Gunn watched the others as well and was surprised to see Cordelia and Wesley standing close together. He looked back at his fiancée to see the vampire blushing.

"Angel, would you give me away?" Spike asked softly.

Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. His Grandchilde was asking him to give him away, like a father would have at the time William had been turned. He stepped away from Lorne's embrace and took Spike in his arms. "I would be honoured."

Gunn watched his lover hug Angel back and knew that the relationship of Sire and Grandchilde was restored.

"When do you want to get married? Will you invite Buffy and her friends as well?" Cordelia asked curiously.

Spike looked up at that and realised that the people in Sunnydale didn't know that he was back. "They don't know I'm back."

"Well, then it will be a bigger to receive the invitation, won't it?" Cordelia replied, already picturing the surprised look on Buffy's face, flabbergasted, Giles would say.

"But how will you invite them? Aren't they in Europe?" Wesley questioned. 

"Yes, they are. Perhaps you could call Giles at the new Watcher's Council?" Angel replied.

"I'll call Giles and ask for their current addresses. If Giles asks, can I tell him why?" Wesley wanted to know.

Gunn sat down and watched calmly as the group started taking care of everything. He looked at his fiancé; the vampire was fidgeting. Telling the Sunnydale group would be a big step for him. Gunn knew about the vampire's involvement with Buffy and he was anxious to know if Spike was ready to let go of the past in order to start a new future with him.

"Yes, you can tell him," Spike replied, stepping away from Angel's embrace to sit with Gunn, who placed him on his lap and kissed him deeply

"Excuse us, I'm taking my fiancé home to ravish him," Gunn announced, beaming because of the vampire's decision. He stood up, took his lover's hand and walked them quickly home.

"I still don't know when or where the wedding will take place," Wesley said after the couple disappeared.

"Let them be, we'll call them later tonight," Lorne answered. "You call this Giles person and ask him what we need to know. You can tell him that we don't have a date yet."

Wesley nodded and left Angel's office, dragging Cordelia behind him.

"When did Wesley and Cordelia become a couple?" Angel asked curiously.

"After Cordelia came back from shopping with Spike and saw the two of you spread naked on your office floor," Fred answered bluntly, blushing furiously when Lorne and Angel gawked at her. "I'll be leaving now." Fred quickly ran back to her apartment.

"Let's go, cupcake, Fred has just reminded me of some business we left unfinished last night," Lorne said and dragged his blushing boyfriend to their apartment.

 

*****

 

"Buffy, it's Giles. Wesley called a few minutes ago to ask for your addresses," Giles told the young woman through the phone.

"Why?" Buffy asked curiously. She had stopped talking to Angel ever since they had found out the vampire was working for the evil law firm Wolfram & Hart.

"Spike is back and getting married. They wanted to invite you and the others to the wedding even though they don't know the date yet," Giles stated bluntly, not really knowing how to tell Buffy that the vampire who had saved the world because of his love for the Slayer was back and marrying someone else.

"Spike is back?" Buffy whispered. "He's getting married? Who with?"

"To whom, Buffy, not 'who with. Yes, Spike is back. The necklace he wore in the final battle ended up with Angel. And he's marrying a young man called Charles Gunn. He's one of Angel's co-workers. Wesley wouldn't tell me more than that," Giles replied.

"Uhm...okay," Buffy said, thinking about going back to L.A. and visiting the vampire. She could take the others with her, she was sure they would want to see Spike as well.

"Buffy, when are you planning on visiting them?" Giles asked, after a long pause.

"How did you...?" Buffy started.

"I know you very well, young lady," Giles replied. "I will be taking Andrew with me."

"So how are you two lovebirds doing?" Buffy asked curiously. The whole group had been surprised to find out that Giles and Andrew had become a couple soon after Sunnydale's destruction but they had quickly adjusted to their surprising relationship.

"Please don't call us that," Giles mumbled, distracted by Andrew embracing him.

"I'll talk to the others and I'll call you back. Bye, Giles," Buffy said before hanging up, grinning when she heard some muffled moans on the phone. Was everybody turning gay now? Maybe Xander had been right after all.

 

Title: Owning my mistakes 5/7  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Rating: R  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina:   
Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know, not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.

Beta'd by: Spiked_by_James, Morrolan17 and Pat. Thanks!

***Angel's office - 11 a.m.***

Buffy stood in the hallway of the Wolfram & Hart building. She arrived with Dawn, Xander and Willow. All four were curious to see Spike. As they waited for Andrew and Giles, Angel watched them from his office.

Spike was peeking through the glass at the small group. He was nervous, his hands stroking his belly as he leaned back against Gunn.

Gunn hugged the nervous vampire from behind as they waited for Angel to invite the group in. They both watched the older vampire walk to the door and open it. "Hello Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Willow, Andrew, Giles. Come on in," Angel greeted, and invited the group inside.

"Spike?" Dawn whispered when she saw the vampire standing in the middle of the room. She slowly made her way towards him when she noticed his extended belly below his and another man's hands.

"Hi, Nibblit," Spike greeted softly.

"Hey Deadboy junior, what's with the beergut belly?" Xander bluntly asked. "Ow!" he complained when Buffy and Dawn elbowed him.

"How are you, Spike?" Buffy asked, curious to know what had happened to him. 

Spike looked at Buffy and smiled. Not a smirk, but a real smile that lit up his eyes as he snuggled against Gunn. "I'm doing bloody great, if I say so myself."

Dawn couldn't stop staring at Spike's belly. The blond vampire watched her stepping closer to him. She looked at him, quietly questioning him. Spike took her right hand and placed it on his belly. His child took that moment to show what a good little kicker he or she was.

Dawn gasped when she felt a little kick against her hand. "You're pregnant!" she stated softly.

There were several gasps heard as the young woman said those words. Buffy and Willow both came closer to look at Spike.

Spike suddenly hugged Dawn and sighed happily when she hugged him back. "I missed you," the vampire whispered in Dawn's ear.

"I missed you too," Dawn replied, looking over Spike's shoulder at Gunn.

The hunter stood protectively close to his fiancé, only allowing a few inches between them. When Spike was girl free, he embraced the vampire again and looked at the three women.

"I'm Charles Gunn, Spike's soon-to-be husband," Gunn introduced himself.

"No need to get overprotective, Charles," Spike whispered, knowing Gunn could hear him. He giggled when Gunn tickled him lightly. When the vampire looked up, he was met with strange looks.

"You just giggled," Giles mentioned thoughtfully. He had watched the vampire from a distance and noticed that Spike was looking happier than ever. The ex-watcher felt his lover squeeze his hand and he turned his head to look into Andrew's blue eyes. He blushed brightly when Andrew kissed him deeply in front of the others.

"Wow! Way to go, Andrew!" Spike exclaimed loudly, when he spotted the two men making out. Who knew the watcher could still blush? Then again, nobody would have guessed those two ending up together.

"Spike, how did you come back? Last time I remember, you were buried under the ruins of Sunnydale," Willow questioned sharply, not realizing that her friends were looking at her cautiously in case she lost control again. The witch had never really recovered from the overload of magic required to give every potential slayer strength.

Spike tensed at the question and it was Angel who answered, making sure the witch's attention was focused on him and not on Spike.

"A necklace arrived with the mail on my desk. After I opened it, Spike reappeared as a ghost. Fred was working on a way to turn him corporeal again when he received an unidentified package," Angel answered.

"I opened the package only to be momentarily blinded by a flash of light. Turns out, there was nothing in it," Spike continued, safely nestled in Gunn's arms. His voice sounded softer as he was talking with his face buried in Gunn's chest. 

"He walked towards Angel's office, intending on walking through the door as he used to do, but this time he hit the door hard and fell on the floor. Quite funny, really," Gunn softly continued.

"He has been corporeal ever since," Angel ended and leaned against Lorne, trying to steady his nerves by soaking up comfort from his lover's embrace.

Giles knew something was being left out, but he accepted the answer so far. He was shocked to see Angel being embraced by a green demon. He looked at Buffy to see if she had seen it as well. The girl was shocked at the sight of the couple. Even though she was staring wide eyed at them, a look of understanding crossed her face. It was if she realized that she and Angel were meant to be friends and nothing more. Could she bear another disappointment? Giles wondered.

Andrew watched the group's reactions and wasn't surprised to see that Buffy, Dawn and Xander were accepting Angel and Spike's explanations easily while Willow was looking introspective.

Cordelia had seen Willow's look as well. She didn't like the way the girl was looking at the vampires and their lovers.

"As much as I like all of you here, Spike and I have to see our doctor," Gunn announced and guided Spike away from the group.

"Gunn, could Dawn come with us?" Spike asked in a small voice. He wasn't sure if Gunn would allow anyone near him. The human could be as possessive as a vampire sometimes.

Gunn looked at the young woman who had been looking at their retreating backs and nodded. "Come one, Dawn."

Dawn squealed, excited to spend more time with Spike. She quickly walked towards them and the three of them headed towards the doctor's office.

 

*****

 

"Why didn't you call us when Spike returned, Angel? We had a right to know," Willow demanded.

"You don't have any rights at all, Willow. None of you do. What gives you the right to know about Spike," Angel growled angry.

"Willow, shut up!" Xander ordered. He was getting sick and tired of the way Willow was behaving. Soon after Spike destroyed the First, she had lost control of her magic again and it took three slayers, including Kennedy to get their 'old' Willow back.

"Angel, could Rupert and I rest somewhere? It's been a long trip from London to L.A. and we're tired," Andrew asked. Even though he truly was very tired and needed a nap, he knew his lover needed to rest before talking to the blond vampire when he returned.

"Yes, of course, blond muffin," Lorne said instead and guided the Sunnydale group to their rooms. He had sensed Willow's hostility towards Spike and made sure Buffy shared a room with the witch. The blond woman would be strong enough to control the witch until back up arrived. Just in case, he placed an alarming spell on the room.

Giles and Andrew followed the green demon and entered their room. Andrew guided Giles to the bed and wasn't surprised when his lover broke down crying.

"I can't tell him, Andrew. He's going to hate me," Giles sobbed.

"You have to tell him, Rupert. He has a right to know and I don't think he will hate you," Andrew argued. "Yes, he will need time to think things over, but I think it will be okay." 

"I know. I will tell him, but will you come with me?" Giles whispered as he felt himself being enveloped by Andrew's embrace. 

The day before their departure to L.A, Giles had received a file from his father's lawyer. His father's last will and testament stated that every thing he owned now belonged to his only son and heir. But when he read the file, Giles was shocked to realize his father knew of his time traveling and his secret marriage.

"We have to wait until Spike, Gunn and Dawn return from the doctor's," Andrew said. "We can have a nap before we meet them," the young man said before hugging Giles tighter and closing his eyes.

Giles nodded and relaxed enough to fall asleep.

 

*****

 

"Lorak, this is Dawn, a good friend of mine," Spike introduced the young woman.

"Hello," Dawn said shyly and shook the outstretched hand.

"Good morning, Dawn," Lorak greeted her and guided them towards his desk. "So, how are you feeling, Spike?"

"I'm doing fine. Only my skin hurts where it's stretching," Spike answered thoughtfully as he stroked the sensitive skin above his navel.

"Let's take a look, shall we?" Lorak instructed as he stood up and walked behind Spike towards the table.

Spike lay down and pulled up his shirt as Gunn stood next to him. Dawn was slowly making her way to the table and stared at Spike's belly.

Spike laughed as he noticed her staring and giggled when he saw her gaping at the screen that popped up as the doctor chanted a spell.

"Is that the baby's heart?" Dawn asked curiously as she watched the screen intensely. 

"Yes, it is," Lorak answered the enthusiastic girl. "Spike, the baby is about 19 weeks old. His or her progress is going faster than I thought it would have," he said after examining the screen thoroughly.

"Is that bad?" Dawn asked worried. She had just gotten her best friend back and she was not losing him again.

"No, the baby is healthy and doing very well, as far as I can see on the screen," Lorak answered. He liked the girl; she was interested in Spike's well being. "Instead of 18 days, I think this pregnancy will be at least be 8 days shorter than we initially thought. That means you have to do breathing exercises every day from now on. You might want to go shopping for baby clothes too," Lorak explained.

"I can help!" Dawn exclaimed and looked at Spike with hope in her eyes.

The vampire nodded his head and was glad his Nibblit accepted him completely. His eyes teared up and he hid his face in Gunn's chest. 

Gunn had said nothing during the entire examine, but studied Dawn's expression and behavior towards Spike. He was happy his beautiful vampire had this beautiful young woman as a friend.

After leaving the doctor's office, they headed towards their room for some privacy but they walked into Giles and Andrew before they got there.

Spike looked curiously at Giles, who was fidgeting. "Spike, could we talk to you in private?" Andrew asked, when he realized his lover was too scared to ask anything. Who knew the Watcher could be this shy or scared?

"Yeah, sure," Spike answered and guided them outside towards their apartment. This ought to be good. He didn't remember seeing the Watcher squirming like that since he had to thank Spike for saving him from a very poisonous demon.

 

***Spike and Gunn's apartment - 6 p.m.***

 

"What do you want to talk about?" Spike asked, when everyone was settled in the living room.

"Giles has something to tell you," Andrew said bluntly.

"Andy, please," Giles begged, not knowing how to start.

"Rupert, just start from the beginning," Andrew said gently, while taking the older man's right hand into his own.

Giles took a deep breath, causing his eyes to tear up again, before starting with his story.

Spike was worried when he saw how terrified Giles was of telling him something. He had never seen the man act this way before.

"At the age of 19, I traveled back in time to the year 1855, to be precise. After three days I realized I couldn't get back. The spell Ethan and I did, didn't work for me to go back," Giles quickly started telling his story, looking at Andrew and his hands.

Spike wasn't sure what to think of this. The watcher had visited his birth year. Somehow he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the rest of the story.

"I settled down, trying to accustom myself to that time. I found a job and a place to stay. Three weeks later I met Becky, a beautiful woman. We started seeing each other secretly because I didn't meet her father's expectations. Two months later, she was carrying my child. Her father found out and demanded I married her," Giles said softly, remembering his beautiful wife.

"Becky knew the truth about me, she was aware that I might go back to my own time one day. When she was 7 months pregnant, I started to feel dizzy and I vanished in front of her eyes. Her blue eyes and the words that she loved me were the last thing I saw and heard of her," Giles now openly sobbed in Andrew's chest.

"Did you find out what happened to your wife and child?" Spike asked, softly crying. He already knew the Watcher was his relative; he was the spitting image of the man his mother had married. He had often looked at the photograph taken at their wedding. Unfortunately, his father had died before his birth so it couldn't be the Watcher, could it?

"I researched history books and old newspapers for many years. Finally, shortly before the final battle with the First, I managed to loan a genealogy book from the British Library. I discovered that Becky never remarried and raised our son by herself. His name is William Rupert Giles," Giles said after he calmed down enough to answer Spike's question.

"You mean "was", don't you?" Gunn questioned when he heard the present tense being used, startled to hear his lover's full name. No else but him and Angel knew it, the vampire didn't like to be reminded of the past. It must be a coincidence, right?

"No, I meant what I said. My son is still alive. And you're marrying him," Giles answered as he straightened himself.

"I...I need some time to think about this. I...I need..." Spike gasped when the truth hit him harder than he thought it would.

"Rupert and I will go back to our room now. Maybe we could meet you again later," Andrew said and stood, taking Giles with him. The man had regretted not telling Spike the truth before the battle and had sunk into a deep depression after Sunnydale's destruction. Andrew had done his best to comfort him but the older man only revealed the reason of his anguish when they became lovers. 

Before leaving, Giles stared at his pregnant son and realized he had a lot to make up for. Maybe he would have a chance now.

When Giles and Andrew were gone, Gunn took his fiancé to their bedroom and undressed the vampire. "Let's take a nap."

 

*****

 

"Gunn? I have a father," Spike stated quietly. He hadn't been able to sleep, the story Giles had told them was whirling around his mind. The Watcher had been his enemy, initially, and had slowly become an ally. Not really a friend but he had always admired the old man's tenacity and courage. He had even survived a torture session with Angelus without breaking down. Hey, something they had in common. Maybe there would be more? "Why didn't he tell me sooner?"

"Would you have believed him?" Gunn asked, knowing the vampire had to understand the Watcher's reasons for not telling.

"No, I'd probably have laughed at him," Spike whispered, realizing why Giles never told him the truth.

"Dawn said he was devastated when he heard from Buffy that you had died. He had a break down and that's how Andrew and Giles hooked up," Gunn recalled Dawn's enthusiastic story about the others.

"I want to give him a chance, but I want Angel to know the story as well. Do you think my father would stay here if I asked him?" Spike questioned softly.

"Why don't you ask him tomorrow when you tell Angel and Lorne," Gunn suggested, hugging Spike tighter and laughed when he felt their child kick against his thigh. "Let's get some sleep. I think we both need it. You shouldn't get this much excitement in one day. Too much stress for the baby."

Spike rolled his eyes at another show of excessive protectiveness by his lover. However, he kept quiet and nodded, closing his eyes and letting sleep overcome him as he dreamed about his parents.

Title: Owning my mistakes 6/7  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina:   
Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know, not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.

A/N 2: My plan was to write 18 chapters. Each two weeks, done in one chapter. But my muse went ahead of me and changed my plans. So the chapters will be 7 chapters. Sorry.

Beta'd by: Spiked_by_James, Morrolan17 and Pat. Thanks!

 

***Day 6***

***Angel's office - 10 a.m.***

Angel and Lorne were waiting for Spike and Gunn to arrive. Angel was worried. After Spike's phonecall, he was frightened that there was something wrong with the baby or worse, Spike himself.

"Sweetie, calm down. If something's wrong, he'll tell us when they get here," Lorne said comfortingly. He was also worried, but not as much as his lover.

"Spike, are you okay? What's wrong?" Angel called out as soon as his Grandchilde entered the office. He quickly walked towards the blond vampire and hugged him when he saw that Spike had been crying.

"May we come in?" Giles asked as he and Andrew stood in the doorway.

"Come in...Dad," Spike answered softly.

Giles couldn't stop his eyes from tearing up when he heard the endearment. He leaned against Andrew who just smiled at the older man's behaviour.

Angel was surprised to hear the endearment and frowned. "Why did you call Giles Dad?" 

"Because I am," Giles said softly and told the older vampire his story.

During the story Angel sat down, not knowing what to say. "Uhm..."

"You got my baby speechless," Lorne joked, while kissing Angel's neck. The said vampire would have blushed bright red, causing Giles and Andrew to snicker at his expense.

"Dad, would you come with us to our doctor's appointment?" Spike asked shyly.

Gunn was watching his fiance and smiled when the vampire asked another person to come with them to the doctor. He was glad the Sunnydale group accepted their relationship even though he didn't trust the redheaded witch. 

Giles nodded and stood straight, ready to accompany his son. His smile widened when he realized Spike had accepted being his son. "I'm a father," he thought with joy in his heart.

Andrew smiled brightly as he watched the joy cross his lover's face as he realized that Spike had accepted him as his father. His smile faded it a little when he realized that it meant that if Giles accepted his proposal he would be Spike's stepfather.

Spike proudly guided his father and lover towards the doctor's office leaving his Grandsire and his father's boyfriend behind.

 

*****

 

When the three men sat before Lorak, the other man watched Giles with curiousity. Apparantly Spike had more people that cared about him.

"Could I ask you something?" Giles asked curiously, interrupting the doctor before he could start.

"Yes, of course," Lorak answered and waited patiently for Giles to ask his question.

"How did my son get pregnant?" Giles asked. Silence met his question. The older man looked at his son, only to see him fidgeting with his shirt. Gunn was looking at the floor and the doctor was speechless.

The doctor was silent. He had assumed Spike had already discussed this with his father, but apparantly not. "That is something you have to ask your son. But I would like to continue this appointment, if you don't mind?" Lorak answered calmly.

"Yes, of course," Giles answered worriedly. What happened to his son?

"Spike, if you please lay on the table," Lorak instructed.

As the vampire nervously laid down, Giles and Gunn stood beside him as Lorak chanted and Giles gaped at the sight of his unborn grandchild.

Spike carefully watched his father as the other man stared at the screen. He smiled as he saw his father look closer at the screen. His nervousness dissipated when the older man asked something about his grandchild.

"Is that my grandchild?" Giles whispered as he watched the little heart pounding fast.

"Yes, that's your grandchild," Lorak answered, showing the Watcher the head, hands and feet.

"How old is he?" Giles asked further.

"The baby is 27 weeks," Lorak answered. "Spike, that means this pregnancy is going much faster than we anticipated. So be prepared, this baby is going to come when you least expect it," Lorak warned the vampire.

The vampire nodded and continued to watch his father's reaction to the baby. He knew he had to explain to Giles how he got pregnant, but he didn't want to do it here or without Angel. He wasn't sure what his father would do to Gunn.

"You can get dressed now, Spike," Lorak instructed and walked back to his desk and wrote the information down in Spike's file.

"Have you started the breathing excersises yet?" Lorak asked when the vampire was once again seated in front of him.

"I was going to start this morning with Dawn. I want her to be with me when our baby comes," Spike answered softly. He hadn't discussed this part with Gunn yet and didn't know how his lover would react.

"Will Gunn and your father be there too?" Lorak asked formally.

"Yes, and Andrew," Spike said, smiling when Gunn kissed him deeply and his father squeezed his hand.

"Spike, Gunn, I have more information about your child," Lorak stated. After receiving a vision with information about Spike's child from the Oracles, he prepared himself for the parents' questions.

"About if the baby's human or not?" Gunn asked immediately.

"Yes, about that," Lorak answered.

Giles couldn't believe what he was hearing. The Ancient was the reason his son was pregnant. He had read about the Ancient, a kind of spirit that took over a human body and raped the victim in order to reproduce. That meant his son-in-law had raped and impregnated his son. He wasn't aware of the anger that colored his face as the realization that his child had been violated hit him square on until Lorak placed his hand on his arm.

Spike sensed his father becoming upset and guided Gunn quickly out of Giles' reach.

"The Ancient hurt my boy?" Giles hissed angrily.

"Yes, but it has been defeated now. It can't hurt Spike or the baby anymore," Lorak said, calming the older man with his voice. He had forgotten that Giles didn't know the whole story behind Spike's pregnancy.

Giles nodded and apologized to Spike and Gunn for his behaviour. That made Spike hug his father tightly and he smiled softly when he felt himself being hugged in return.

"Very well, I will see you tomorrow," Lorak said before closing the file and guiding the family through the door.

 

*****

 

"Xander, we have to watch Willow carefully. She's up to something," Buffy warned Xander as they stood outside the law firm.

"Did she do or say something?" Xander asked worriedly. He had accepted that his Willow was dead, the girl that they were looking at was just a shell with uncontrolled magic. The girl would never be the same and the addiction was still controlling Willow's body.

"She was using magic to eavesdrop on Spike's appointment with his doctor," Buffy replied. "She stopped when she saw me coming."

"Why did you leave her alone? She's going to do something stupid now, because she she knows she can't do anything when we are all there," Xander asked in a panic.

Both Buffy and Xander ran towards Angel. But as they arrived at Angel's office, they saw Dawn on the couch crying. Gunn was holding Spike and they both were crying. Giles silently cried as he held Andrew tightly.

"What's going on? Where's Willow?" Buffy asked worriedly.

"Willow is dead!" Lorne announced angrily. "She attacked Spike and his baby."

"She tried to take away the baby's power by draining Spike's energy," Angel explained, while hugging Lorne tighter.

"Where is she?" Buffy asked as she couldn't find the redheaded girl.

"She's dead. I used her own magic against her and it burned her from the inside out," Wesley said, while holding a small, silver box.

"She's ashes?" Buffy asked stunned.

"Yes, she is," Wesley replied and gave the box to Xander.

Xander took the box and stared at it sadly before remembering who Willow had attacked. "Are Spike and the baby okay?" Xander asked worriedly.

Everybody looked up at Xander's question. They had never heard the young man's voice quiver with concern for Spike. "Xander?" Spike asked softly after hearing the question.

"Yeah?" Xander whispered as he noticed that everyone was staring at him.

"I thought you hated me?" Spike asked curiously.

"Never hated you. Was jealous of you. You got all the girls, all the friends. You had power, strength and love, I have nothing," Xander stated softly before running out of the room.

"What just happened?" Dawn asked after watching the strange scene unfold.

"From the moment Willow, Xander and I became friends she always backed him up. But when she got more power, she kept telling him that he didn't have any powers or strength, he shouldn't be part of our group," Buffy softly explained.

"But I thought they were friends since childhood and even when Willow got Tara," Angel inquired.

"They did. But between cheating on Oz with Xander and getting too much power, she didn't see reality anymore. It gotten worse when Tara died, Xander saved the world by telling her that he loved her. After that she wasn't Xander's friend any longer," Buffy explained. "Spike, please stay here. I'll go find him," she said when she saw the vampire walking towards the door.

 

*****

 

Xander stopped running and couldn't believe he let himself go. It hurt to know that Willow was now really dead or in this case ashes. He had tried to see her as a friend like they used too, but Willow was too angry to do that. Willow had died when he saved the world and his best bud.

"Hey," Buffy whispered when she found him sitting in the hallway not far from Angel's office.

"Hey," Xander whispered back.

Buffy looked at her friend and felt stirrings in her stomach. She was surprised as she realized that she felt more than just friendship for him. Perhaps what had happened to Willow changed her feelings.

Xander felt Buffy staring at him and couldn't help but let his feelings be in control. His love for Buffy flared up again and he was startled when the young woman kissed him soflty.

"What?" Xander questioned stunned.

"I...I don't know...I'm sorry," Buffy stuttered. "Hmphf," she was apologizing to her friend when Xander kissed her back.

"We need to talk," Xander said after pulling back, grinning when Buffy followed his mouth.

"I know. Do you want to go back or do you want go out, get something to drink?" Buffy asked smiling.

"I didn't know Slayers could still blush?" Xander whispered and smiled as the blush deepened.

"Shut up! Let's go," Buffy exclaimed and stood up. 

 

*****

 

The others watched the two young people walk away. 

"This is really something for Buffy to pull love out of Xander when someone dear dies," Dawn remarked heartfelt.

 

Title: Owning my mistakes 7/7  
Author: Spikewil  
Feedback: spikewil@wanadoo.nl  
Pairing: Spike/Gunn  
Rating: R  
Summary: Spike gets raped, ends up pregnant and needs to trust the father again.  
A/N 1: I adopted this plot bunny from Asdomina:   
Knock Spike up by somebody who isn't Angel. I know, not really a challenge but there aren't enough out there.

A/N 2: My plan was to write 18 chapters. Each two weeks, done in one chapter. But my muse went ahead of me and changed my plans. So the chapters will be done in 7 chapters. Sorry.

Beta'd by: Spiked_by_James, Morrolan17 and Pat. Thanks!

 

***Day 7***

 

Giles and Angel watched with pride as Spike was preparing to get married. When the doctor told them yesterday that the baby was coming sooner than anticipated Spike and Gunn decided they should get married right away.

Spike took out the suit he had bought for the wedding and began getting ready. He felt the stares from his father and Grandsire and smiled. They had become very protective of him and his baby.

Angel had made the decision that Giles should give Spike away. After all, he was Spike's father. He did not want Spike to feel guilty about not having Angel give him away.

 

*****

 

Gunn was fidgeting with his tie as he looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn't believe he was going to marry his love. 

"Let me do that," Fred said calmly as she noticed that her friend was too nervous to tie a proper knot.

"Thanks, Fred," Gunn said, smiling at the young woman.

 

*****

 

Fred, Wesley, Cordelia, Lorak and Lorne stood on the right side of the room, waiting for Spike to arrive.

Dawn, Xander, Buffy, Andrew and Giles stood on the left side of the small room.

Gunn stood on the right side of the aisle, waiting for Spike to walk towards him. His eyes shone with tears as he watched Spike nervously picking at a seam on his silver suit. He waited patiently for Spike to walk next to him before speaking.

"Sweet heart, you look absolutely gorgeous," Gunn said, eying his soon-to-be husband's body.

Spike blushed at the words, stroked his pregnant belly and giggled when the baby kicked his hand.

"You look gorgeous too," Spike replied, taking Gunn's hand in his own and placing it on his belly. The baby kicked, and his parents both smiled broadly.

Giles watched the scene and couldn't be happier at what he was witnessing. Angel had surprised him by giving him the honored duty of giving away his son. He knew Angel would still be Spike's witness, so with great joy and pride he was ready to give his son away in matrimony.

Andrew watched his lover carefully and took his hand into his own and squeezed. The young man couldn't help himself and kissed Giles deeply before letting him go.

Spike watched his father be kissed, leaving the older man behind with a silly little smile.

"We are here together to bind these two men in matrimony. Who will give away the bride...uhm...the groom," the Priest stuttered clumsily.

Spike looked offended that he was the designated wife, but giggled as he watched the priest stutter on his own words. 

"I will!" Giles said firm and proud.

Spike looked at his father in surprise before looking at Angel. He saw in their eyes that they had done this together. His heart swelled with pride as he realized that Angel and Giles had worked through their differences for him.

Every girl in the room was crying at the beautiful sight the two men made. Gunn in an ivory suit, Spike in a silver suit with a gray band around his pregnant belly. Every time the baby's parents had to say I do, you could see the rippling go through the belly.

As Gunn was kissing his husband for the first time, the vampire cried out in pain. He pulled back and saw the look of pain on Spike's face as his hands clutched at his belly.

Andrew saw a wet spot forming on Spike's trousers. "His water broke," he said calmly.

Lorak immediately stood up and together with Gunn he guided the vampire to the doctor's office where everything was already prepared. The doctor had anticipated that the baby would come earlier than expected.

Spike groaned from the pain rippling through his abdomen.

"I want Dawn, Gunn, Andrew and Giles in the room with Spike, the rest of you wait here," Lorak ordered as he guided the five people into the room.

Spike was breathing through his nose. He had only one breathing lesson. "How am I supposed to remember what to do?" he thought hysterically He focused on Dawn's face while Gunn undressed him, letting him keep his shirt on.

Giles was nervous; he didn't know what to do. They were supposed to discuss this first, have a plan with everyone's role clearly defined, but that wasn't going to happen now. He sat next to his son and took a shivering hand in his own while his lover did the same on the other side.

Gunn was placed behind Spike as the vampire sat on the birthing chair. The hunter supported Spike by pressing his chest and stomach against Spike's back.

"Spike, breathe. Don't push!" Lorak instructed calmly.

Dawn was watching the scene unfold in front of her; she realized that Spike was focusing on her mouth. She remembered the breathing exercises the teacher had taught her and began breathing as she had been taught. When she saw Spike taking her lead and copying her, she was filled with pride as she was now helping Spike bring his child into the world.

Spike squirmed on the chair, as the contractions were getting progressively stronger and longer. "This hurts," he cried out when a sharp contraction ran through his belly.

"Focus on your breathing, Spike. You are fully dilated, on the next contraction I want you to breathe and start pushing. Ok?" Lorak instructed while examining Spike.

Spike pushed as hard as he could. He felt his baby slip towards his entrance. He heard twin groans but couldn't place it as he continued pushing.

"Stop!" Lorak ordered, when the vampire didn't stop pushing. "Distract him from pushing."

"Giles, I love you very much. You make me cry and laugh, you make my heart burst from the love I feel for you," Andrew said, looking at Giles. He saw from the corners of his eyes that Spike had stopped pushing and was watching his father with interest.

Giles couldn't believe what he was hearing. Andrew was professing his love for him while his son was in labor. Was he nuts? He needed to concentrate on his son right now.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Andrew asked curiously.

Lorak smiled. He hadn't expected that kind of distraction but it was working. Both Spike and Giles were looking at Andrew, although the vampire kept looking back and forth between his father and his soon-to-be stepfather.

Giles was gaping at his lover. He hadn't seen that question coming. But he smiled and cried when he answered. "Yes, I want to marry you. I love you."

Spike smiled as well until another contraction ripped through his body. "I need to push."

"Go ahead and push as hard as you can, but stop when I tell you," Lorak instructed sharply.

The vampire didn't answer but pushed as hard as he could. He felt the baby's head push through the outer rim of his anus. He screamed out from pain as the head popped out. He breathed heavily as the doctor made sure everything was all right before pushing again. With the next push he howled out with pain as he felt the shoulders slip from his body.

Dawn felt faint as she watched the baby slip from Spike's body. It was unnatural for her to see something like that and she couldn't stop the darkness from surrounding her.

Lorak caught the baby in his hands and gently placed the baby on Spike's chest wrapped in a warm blanket. Gunn smiled at the sight of his husband and their child.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Giles asked curiously. He couldn't see and the doctor hadn't said anything.

"I got a baby," Spike whispered stunned as he looked at the scrunched up little face.

"Yes, we know that. But is it a she or a he?" Giles laughed at hearing Spike's words.

Lorak waited until the umbilical cord had finished pulsating and asked Gunn if he wanted to cut the cord. Gunn who had been watching his baby couldn't reach it. In order to cut the cord Gunn would have to let go of Spike and his child and he was loath to do that. "Let my father-in-law cut it."

Giles was surprised at hearing this, but happily accepted the scissors and cut the cord. The moment the cord was cut the baby tested his lungs.

"He got Spike's lungs," Gunn dryly commented.

"It's a he?" Andrew asked curiously.

Lorak took the baby from Spike's chest and examined the child before showing the child to her parents. "You got a little girl."

"We have a daughter, William," Gunn whispered in Spike's ear as they embraced their daughter again.

Lorak cleaned the vampire after the placenta was delivered. He took the little girl away from the parents and wrapped her in a pink blanket and placed her in Giles' arms.

"Gunn, gently lift Spike up and place him on the bed in the corner," the doctor instructed calmly. Everything went all right. The mother was fine as well as the baby girl.

"What's her name?" Lorak asked curiously.

"Rebecca Lily Gunn, after my mother," Spike answered and saw Giles looking at him with tears in his eyes, while Gunn's eyes shone when he heard their child was taking his last name.

"Thank you," Giles answered and looked at his granddaughter with pride. He walked towards the door and stood in the doorway as Andrew had opened it for him.

 

*****

 

Lorne embraced Angel and he hugged his lover tightly. Angel was hearing soft moaning; loud screaming and howling from Spike and it made him feel scared. He was praying that his Grandchilde would be all right.

Buffy was in Xander's arms and both hoped Spike would be okay. They heard the screaming as well and couldn't help feeling useless. Buffy was also curious to know how Dawn was dealing with what was going on inside the room.

Cordelia and Fred were in Wesley's embrace. Both women were pressed against his sides, faces against his neck. The moment Wesley blushed, the rest of the people knew they were looking at a threesome.

They all stood closer to the door as it opened, Giles had a small pink bundle in his arms. "I'd like you to meet my granddaughter Rebecca Lily Gunn."

The entire crew oohed and awed over the baby while Gunn took care of his husband. He moved a bit when Giles returned with his daughter and placed the girl on Spike's chest near his right nipple. They watched with fascination how the girl latched on the nipple and began drinking.

 

***One month later***

The L.A. gang now, including Giles and Andrew were waving goodbye to their friends. Xander, Dawn and Buffy were returning to Rome after promising to call as often as possible.

Spike and Gunn were in the middle of their apartment enjoying their daughter's attention, while Lorne and Angel were making out on the couch.

Giles and Andrew were snuggled in one of the larger chairs in the corner. The older man was touching the younger man in places he wasn't supposed to while in a public.

Wesley and Cordelia were standing near the doorway discussing their wedding with Fred. While Fred watched their family interact and couldn't help but smile. This is how it was supposed to be, a loving family.


End file.
